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female
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anonymous
writes: i have questions about timing, i know that everyone is different but id like some average answers or personal experiences as a rough guide.im in my mid 20's he's late 20's, we'r together 9 months.he's never said that he loves me and iv never said it either, im more affectionate and show love rather than say it and iv been happy to receive love that way too until recently.i think hearing it would be nice but as i initiate almost every other aspect of our relationship... meeting up, hugs, kisses, sex... i think i need to hear it before i say it for this one.iv reached a stage where i more than want to hear it, i need to. but it seems to be the one thing i cant ask for as it will lose its value if it needs to be promted by me, it might not feel real, just like an obligation being sorted out.can i just ask "do you love me?" and if i do will the answer be genuine?iv been told, after an argument, that this isnt a silly fling, and that we'r not wasting our time with each other-which i interpreted as all or nothing, that we only were to stay together if we both saw a future. this argument was a few weeks ago and its been fully resolved but i cant shake these thoughts that have arisen.how long is normal for a boyfriend to say he loves you?how long should you wait before moving in with each other?and will i know if there's a reason for not hearing it or making solid plans for the future? even if i dont like the reason.any and all comments, experiences and opinions will be appreciated and helpfull.x x x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): (FROM PERSON WHO POSTED Q)
thanks for your answer, im sure ur bf sayin that b4 he finished it was confusing and hasnt helped u in movin on but maybe men really are from mars?
sometimes im ok and feel loved, but durin harder times or when we'v not seen each other for a few days it would be nice to have the memory of him saying it to me, to know how he looked at me and that he loved me so much he just had to say it. possibly i just have unrealistic expectations and i should be happy with my lot-id probably get annoyed if he was too soppy so maybe this is the better of 2 evils if i cant have it exactly as i want it.
i really dont know.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2006): Honestly sweetie this is a hard thing to determine! I recently got out of a relationship and right before it ended (like the weekend before the breakup) my b/f confessed his love for me. That is why I don't understand the break up! I just believe that many things in a relationship can't be explained, from the length of time it takes for your partner to say he loves you..to why things end so suddenly when they are going so great! Leave your comments and maybe we can talk more about the subject!
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