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How long am I supposed to date her before I ask her to be my girlfriend?

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Question - (28 June 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met this girl at uni about a week ago. I was lost and asked her for help, and then we talked for a bit. She was really beautiful, and I was kind of surprised that she was talking to me. Stupidly, I didn't ask for her number or anything, just said I would see her around.

I did happen to run into her again, we talked for a bit, and we exchanged numbers. I ran into her in the city the next day, and we walked and talked for a bit. The next day, I called her and asked if she wanted to go watch a movie. She said she was at a concert, and asked if I wanted to come. We hung out for a couple hours talking and listening to music.

When I am with her, she is really nice, and is always looking directly at me and smiling. I have two questions. How long am I supposed to date her before I ask her to be my girlfriend? Also, she seems like a very social person whereas I'm kind of an introverted geek. Could she just see me as another friend to hang out with or is she attracted to me? I can't see how she would see me as a friend, as we just met. On the other hand, I can't see how she would be instantly attracted to me as I'm not really a ladies' man.

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A female reader, Lexie88 Australia +, writes (28 June 2010):

Lexie88 agony auntHave you been on a proper date with her?

If not, I would ask her out on a date first, see how that goes first. If it goes well, ask her out again. Start building a relationship before you bring up the girlfriend talk.

You need to gauge her interest a bit more before asking her to be your girlfriend. At this point you don't even know if she sees you in that way! She might be social and all but she might also get freaked out if you suddenly ask her to be your GF without setting up some dates first.

So ask her out, just you and her, and do a proper date thing. No hanging out, no other friends, just you and her. You'll quickly find out if she wants a boyfriend or a friend.

Good luck :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

aww i love your post.

dont you think its kind of like fate, seeing her like 3 days in a row.I think its to early to tell, you should wait it out for a little, try asking her out again but dont do it all at once dont seem too clingy or deseperate.Then when u feel the time is right ask her if she sees you only as a frend or someone she could be together with. im pretty sure shes attracted to u bcuz i kno if someone i didnt like called me out for a date and i didnt like him like that i would say no and thats the truth. i hope that helped

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010):

Don't ask her to be your girlfriend yet, you might scare her off.

Take it slow and keep spending time with her. If you don't want to fall into a friend category right now, make it clear that you are not just hanging out, make it clear that you are asking her out on a date and make sure it feels like a date (since you're asking her out on the date, you should plan the date, etc, be a gentleman, etc. WELL, actually you should really just be yourself).

Then take it from there, see if she reciprocates.

But just understand you can't go up to a girl you just met and say, "hey let's be boyfriend/girlfriend." I wish it were like that LOL but it doesn't quite work that way.... After dating for a while and letting the feelings simmer and grow, you can have that "relationship talk" and find out if she wants to be exclusively dating you and then take it from there.

Good luck!

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