A
male
age
36-40,
*mootnezz
writes: i think am paranoid for no reason. please help. the thing is no relationship has ever worked so well for me. i broke the heart of my first girl friend. not that i cheated on her but i got angry when i heard she had read a letter i wrote to her, appologising for something i did wrong, to her friends at school. i believed it because the lyrics i heard were exactly the same. i got angry and never talked to her again. she tried to get in contact after missing me. but i did not give her any chance. later i realised it was true that she had read the letter. someone else did. i don't know how that person got the letter. by then i had already got into another relationship that my ex was aware of. i could not go back to her. i know she loved so much so she hurt by behavior towards her and my going into another relationship withuot telling her what she did wrong. my second girl broke my heart, when one day she wrote anote on the sheet of an old exercise book, telling me she had found a better guy and wanted to quit. i begged her to stay with me because i had sacrifised a lot for her to loose her. bit her mind was made up. for one full year i did not go into any relationship. i came across my very first girl again and wanted to explain things to her. she would't listen. i did everything possible but she just won't budge. i tried two more, they didn't work. even tthe current girl i thought i was going to win has hurt me. i am now afraid to approach girls bcos i feel i am not lucky. i am right, please help. my confidence is down.
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male
reader, useiwayne  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 I hope I understand what you are writing - The first lady whom you felt broke your trust because she read something you wrote, you refused to forgive her and she refused to forgive you when you tried to restart that relationship. You should have forgiven her, the mistake was yours in that case regardless of her snoopy nature. Then you got hammered by hard by the gal whom you left the first lady for; that sucks! From what you posted, this person is cruel! Your other relationships have fizzled for reasons unspecified. Without knowing the particulars of these other two relationships, it is hard to see a pattern and give you an accurate solution. However, you should not despair! find a good woman, and here are the qualities you should look for: caring, gentle, conscientious, mature, and loyal. If you find a woman with these qualities, you will have no reason to despair. She will treat you right, and will have the maturity and patience to see through any problems your relationship will have. And please, please, please learn to be forgiving; all people make mistakes, forgive those mistakes and go forward. Do not be a wimp and give up on your relationship whenever a problem arises, please learn to work through problems. Above all things, be tenacious! If both persons are tenacious and forgiving, your relationship can weather anything, will be wonderful, and will give you the confidence you seek!Good luck! I hope you find someone! Just please think on what I have said!
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Take a look at my article. There are some great ideas there that might help:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html
Worked for my confidence and after a host of bad relationships I'm back :)
Good luck!
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