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female
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anonymous
writes: I'll try and keep this short and sweet. I have been dating my bf for awhile, im not a virgin but he is still alot more experienced then i am and said hes not gunna do anything i dont want. I want to have sex but dont know how to make the first move. Is there anyway to make him make the first move? or How do i do this without seeming desperate, or just looking dumb? thanks :) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sparks +, writes (19 May 2006):
 My advice may be boring and unexciting, but I suggest you wait until he makes the first move. It’s sort of a convention.
If he is delaying the first move he’s probably doing so because he respects you as a “serious” girl, and if you start taking the initiative he may get disappointed. Generally, old-fashioned guys like girls to seem somewhat naïve and inexperienced, even if they are not.
If he is this sort of guy, you may need to wait until he feels you have enough intimacy so that it flows naturally. That may take a while, be patient.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (18 May 2006):
 Maybe he isn't making a move because of respect - he doesn't want you to think he is just after sex. The best way to sort out the problem is to arrange a date at your home and get yourself dressed up with the candle lit dinner thing - not over the top but certainly make a bit of effort. Then he will take the hint! Candle lit dinner at yours...come in for coffee...are these not international words for making a move? Well it worked when I was dating my husband anyway!
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A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (18 May 2006):
 wear something that makes you look nice and attractive but not tarty but keep it short and simple
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): if you're too nervous to talk to him you could show him, next time you're alone and kissing just move you hand down to his crotch or lead him upstairs.
you wont look dump, he sounds like a decent guy and will probuably be more than happy when yu show you want to take things further.
if you're ok talking to him about it then just say that you're ready.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, Auntie Angie +, writes (18 May 2006):
As you're both experienced, theres no reason why you or he would be embarassed if you were to take things further. Try talking to him or if you dont feel comfortable doing this, next time youre together, show him that youre interested; try kissing his neck and other intimate things you may hav not tried before so he starts to realise you might want more out of the relationship. If he doesnt, you havent put yourself too far out to be rejected and you wont look "dumb" as youre worried bout. good luck!
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