A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Does getting back together with an ex ever really work?My ex and I dated for 2 and 1/2 yrs; broke up six months ago. We did the distance thing - no talking for two months, then some phone calls, then another 2.5 months no talking. He called a few weeks ago, out of the blue, and said he's grown up - he didn't know what he wanted before, and he can't say why he needed the time apart, but he did, and now he knows what he wants: a real relationship, with me.This guy was the love of my life, and I know I'm the only woman he's ever loved. We had a great friendship, but somehow, over time, the relationship just got messed up - there were weird, unspoken control issues and we were both really obsessed w/ not getting hurt. We've talked about it and both agree what we want is an open, trusting relationship where we can just be honest and accepting of each other. But that's not what we had before. How do two people who really care about each other but are *bad* at being vulnerable get to where they want to be? I'm 28, he'll be 27 next week - we're old enough that it shouldn't be this hard anymore, and we've dated enough to know we've found something pretty special in each other. This guy is absolutely what I'm looking for, faults and all. How do we make it work?
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female
reader, Annalisa  + ♥, writes (6 April 2008):
 You both need to open up to each other and discuss personal issues. Listen to each other and try to accept that neither of you are perfect. You both need to compromise to make each other happy.
You need to accept each other's flaws, but concentrate on the good stuff that keeps you wanting to be together!
You are both individuals who care about each other and want to support each other through life. Accept that you need each other and that life will transform both of you as it throws troubles and joy your way. It is by standing by one another that you grow closer and inseparable. Affection and friendship will keep you close. Respect each other and keep taking interest in each other. Don't take each other for granted, lest you should find you've loved or broken up with a stranger! Sharing values and praying together can be a real help. Share as many thoughts and emotions as you can, for it is your souls that are to be joined, as your bodies will always be separate entities.
God bless you and good luck!
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