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How do you make a relationship work if it doesn't come naturally?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2008) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Does getting back together with an ex ever really work?

My ex and I dated for 2 and 1/2 yrs; broke up six months ago. We did the distance thing - no talking for two months, then some phone calls, then another 2.5 months no talking. He called a few weeks ago, out of the blue, and said he's grown up - he didn't know what he wanted before, and he can't say why he needed the time apart, but he did, and now he knows what he wants: a real relationship, with me.

This guy was the love of my life, and I know I'm the only woman he's ever loved. We had a great friendship, but somehow, over time, the relationship just got messed up - there were weird, unspoken control issues and we were both really obsessed w/ not getting hurt.

We've talked about it and both agree what we want is an open, trusting relationship where we can just be honest and accepting of each other. But that's not what we had before.

How do two people who really care about each other but are *bad* at being vulnerable get to where they want to be? I'm 28, he'll be 27 next week - we're old enough that it shouldn't be this hard anymore, and we've dated enough to know we've found something pretty special in each other. This guy is absolutely what I'm looking for, faults and all.

How do we make it work?

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