A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you know if your being too clingy or smothering in a relationship? I think I maybe a bit smothering I only see my boyfriend once a week if even and I want to spend more time with him. I know he has some close girl mates but I don't mind that but I don't know if I,m smothering how can you tell? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): I suggest that you ask him if he's comfortable with your behavior and ask him to let you know if he's not. Then, observe how he is behaving in the relationship, and follow his lead.so for example if your bf only texts you every other day of his own accord (NOT because you just texted him a million times requiring a response from him), then you should also follow with that amount of texting and not a lot more than that.Does he question you a lot about your friends of the opposite sex? if no, then don't fire lots of questions at him about his (unless you have serious concerns). If you do, then you're being smothering. Does he demand to check your phone and email? If no, then don't ask to do that to him. if your bf is content to go a week or two without seeing you - as in he doesn't make the effort to make plans with you - then you should also stick with that because wanting him to do more would mean that you're exceeding his comfort zone. And when you exceed your partner's comfort zone that's when you're being clingy. the point is that what may be clingy to one partner may not be for another. you're only being clingy and smothering if your partner feels clung to and smothered. So one way is to ask him to tell you when he's starting to feel smothered. But of course you have to be sincerely receptive to the truth and not freak out, you have to make it OK for him to be honest with you otherwise he may lie so as to not rock the boat further. and then you should see what your partner does in the relationship and try to stick more or less at the same level yourself.
|
