A
female
age
41-50,
*atax
writes:Hi i would like to know how to go from being a guys mate to dating, i believe he likes me as we've become close over the past few weeks. We are good friends so i dont want to be so upfront that we couldn't stay friends if i've read the signs wrong. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): If you say you don't know how to flirt, you probably don't practice it. Good for you! [Flirtation. A superficial and usually temporary romance. To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.] Never liked this word... So I don't now how I would advise with that; basically you have to smile, maintain visual contact, don't pretend busy, be confident, and take care of your body language so as not to indicate him you're unavailable, like crossed hands. There was an entire article about the seduction of keeping your head at 45 degrees. Too playful for my taste. The only reason why things have to be said with subtlety is that the person who initiates this is put in a somewhat weak position when trying to figure out if he is corresponded or not. If it doesn't go where you wished, you will both feel less awkward, if the suggestions are made with delicacy. Natax, just accept his invitations of going out, or invite him yourself. Tell him in a calm moment while admiring the park that you would like to see him more often. He'll have a clue. Follow his reaction. Then don't forget to discuss what the relationship would mean to each one of you, if it advances. Wish you all the best. And courage. It doesn't matter who makes the first step... we're in the year 2007.
A
female
reader, Natax +, writes (22 August 2007):
Natax is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice, i was about to give up but you have helped me to continue. What would you suggest are subtle actions as I am rubbish at flirting?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): I always thought a relationship is stronger if it is a product of a warm desinterested friendship, because you feel you know what to expect from the other and a connection has already been settled, especially if you know each other for years. I think the transition from being friends to dating can result somewhat delicate, since the friendship and the potential relationship may suffer. This risk should nevertheless be put aside if once you start a relationship you discuss about going back to the former level if it doesn't confirm. I must say, if you genuinly care for each other as friends, and the relationship doesn't last as planned, you will maturely find a way to maintain at least the friendship. And you can as well start with a kiss on the cheeck. As the other aunt said, you can give him subtle signs, then be sure if he continues on your path that he may feel a bit uncomfortable with the transition as well, but the time will bring you familiarised with the situation. Good luck. And remember the friendship can be jeopardised after this atteempt only if you allow it so! It's usually pride that wouldn't accept such a loss, but relationships are not competition, although you can well see yourself retrograded... And then there's always a way...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): Sometimes it's tough to go from friends to dating, but someone has to make the first move. My husband and I were friends all throughout high school, then he finally told me he liked me, and with a little hesitation we started dating and now we're married! You never know what the outcome will be, but its understandable to be hesitant. You don't want to scare him off or make things awkward between the two of you. You'll have to try something that's a little bit subtle. Perhaps a little, "what would you do if I said I liked you?" And if he's not going for it, just drop it immediately. Sometimes you can find out just by flirting a little bit and dropping sly hints and see if he responds or not. You owe it to yourself to find out how he feels, though. You never know, he may have been feeling the same way all along, but was just too scared to tell you. You never know. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck and take care!
-RJGirl
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