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How do you fix a problem when your partner doesn't think anything is wrong?

Tagged as: Faded love, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *isch777 writes:

I don't even know where to start. I feel kind of odd that I am filling this out since this isn't something I normally would do but I just don't know what else to do.

My husband and I have been married three years and been together almost 6. For a while now I have felt that there is something missing. Overall my husband is amazing. He's a great father, patient, loving, hardworking and very dedicated to his family. I really do feel lucky to have him in my life. The only thing wrong is that I feel like I've fallen out of love with him. For months now I could feel myself falling out of love and I tried to do things to change it but I just don't feel like it's working.

One of my biggest issues/concern is that he doesn't think there is anything wrong with our relationship. For example, tonight we got into an argument and I told him basically how I feel (As nicely as possible) that I am at the end of my rope and that I've basically fallen out of love with him and that I feel like my life would be a little easier raising our kids without him because i feel like he puts a lot more stress and responsibility on me. He just laid on the bed with his eyes closed and his only response seems to be "well if thats how you really feel then that's messed up". He had no emotion, no drive. So my question is how do you fix a marriage when one person doesn't feel like there is a "problem" and the other person feels like her spouse doesn't have the emotion to help fix it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010):

"Overall my husband is amazing. He's a great father, patient, loving, hardworking and very dedicated to his family. I really do feel lucky to have him in my life."

So, he's a great guy.

"I told him basically how I feel (As nicely as possible) that I am at the end of my rope and that I've basically fallen out of love with him and that I feel like my life would be a little easier raising our kids without him because i feel like he puts a lot more stress and responsibility on me."

So he's not a great guy.

Yes, both can be true at the same time, but the question is why you feel this way.

You really need counseling for BOTH of you TOGETHER or you will end up with a big mess on your hands.

You need to talk with him, tell him you WANT to go to counseling TOGETHER so you can figure out why you feel the way that you do.

"married three years and been together almost 6"

33% of all marriages end before 10 years, many from just the stresses you mention, but not because of the stresses themselves, they end because people don't know how to deal constructively with them and deal with the stresses destructively (affairs, drugs, alcohol, violence).

Counseling.

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (7 November 2010):

C. Grant agony auntA professional marriage counsellor can help you deal with these issues. Even if your husband doesn't see a problem, the fact that you're unhappy should prompt him to see a counsellor with you.

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