A
female
age
30-35,
*tayc63088
writes:When do you decide when a relationship just isn't working and isn't worth it? Is questioning whether it is worth it a bad sign? Is not being able to see it lasting a bad sign? I assume it is. What about feeling this way and it has only been a month, should it be this difficult this soon? Nothing has really happened bad between us. Basically I am scared he needs too much alone time or time with friends and I am too clingy. This also worries him. I was living with him and now moved back out but we are still together and talking. Another thing is I like to talk all the time and feel less connected when I don't. He barely even texts when we aren't together. I sometimes feel like he has lost all interest altogether from the lack of talking. I even asked him yesterday if he wanted to just end it and there would be no hard feelings and I explained to him that I just didn't feel like he was interested anymore. He said he was, he just doesn't text or talk every minute. At one point he even said I need to be less clingy. That makes me feel like I shouldn't be myself, like he doesn't accept me for who I am, and eventually my clingyness would end the relationship. I assume he is a normal guy, doesn't need to talk constantly and needs space, but I don't think I can handle that. We each have our worries about the relationship and said we would try to work it out, but are we too different? I feel like we are just a couple, nothing special or different about him or us. Also I don't know if he is romantic enough for me. But for some reason I just don't want to give up so easily. I'm attracted to him and enjoy spending time with him and feel once I move back in I will be better. I also feel that the guy I am looking for may not exist and I should accept that this is the way most men are, need space and time with friends. Any opinions would be appreciated, thanks.
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male
reader, ReturningtheFavor +, writes (7 February 2010):
I wouldnt be concerned about his reactions! I answer all my questions from my personal expereinces in a relationship and as a man.I have been in the exact same situation that your man has been in. I thought she was too clingy and didnt text or call her nearly as often as she wanted. At first I was lie wow, this girl is really needy and i am not. But truth is he can come around. I eventually came around, now we share the same clingy feelings!
Your relationship is very young and new so he may not be acustomed to a woman like you. Us men do not adjust to these changes very quickly and we always think we are right but we can and do change. The poster above is prove that good men exist and if this isnt working for you, find a man who can give you what you need. Relationships take work and time to learn each others needs, wants, and styles. You have to allow the relationsip to develop into what you and he want it to be. Above all else remember that no one can tell you what will make you happy, only you have that answer, and the power to control it! Good Luck!
A
male
reader, New2thisLifeThing +, writes (7 February 2010):
Well I can say without a doubt that your type of man is out there. I am one of them. I am not the typical beer swilling football "dude". I also love to talk about feelings, my relationship, and all other manner of things. Perhaps my girl friend thinks it is too much at times but that is a diffrent story. I was married before for nine years and I wish I would have listened to my inner self when I started to ask the same questions 5 years ago.I now know the person you want to find is always out there and you can not find them until you look. Never settle for second. I would say run. If he can not see you for what you are and take the steps to commit then he is not worth your time. Not all men are like that. Thank god not every man is afraid to commit. A "man" knows how to be strong enough to talk. A "man" knows how to be with a partner and share a moment. A "man" can be what you are looking for, this "boy" is just a stepping stone for you to find the man you deserve. Good luck, and post again in two month when you have a good man.
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