A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a man through my previous job.(He was my ex-boss). A strong attraction built up between us but neither or us took it further or even verbally said how we felt about each other. He was the biggest flirt and did all with his body language and actions. He did once ask if I was married or single but I replied by saying its complicated. (I regret not being straight with him). When ever we had meetings at work he was really comfortable with me and I would make him laugh. He found me easy to confide in and share some really personal and intimate information about himself with me.I left nearly a year ago and can not stop thinking about him. I have had to contact him on a few occasions as I use him as my referee. I bumped into him a few weeks ago and he really stared into my eyes. I recently called him as I have just been offered a cabin crew job for a major airline and needed him to do the reference. I couldn't wait to speak to him. We spent a good 20 minutes taking about the new job, what I have been doing, my intentions to move to an area near where he lives that he has been trying to sell to me when I once applied for a job near there, my children. It all remained professional. I explained that I have refrained from e-mailing him as all the PA's at his work has access to his e-mail. I did once ask if he had a private e-mail and his response was that he cant cope with e-mails. I want to put closure to this if there is no future. We are both in similar situations with children and both separated.I do feel he finds it hard to approach me and now that we are not working together it makes it even harder. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how to break the ice with this man. He is no longer my boss and prior to leaving he said he would keep in touch. (Only snag - he does not know that I am now available.He asked me to contact him once my new job is under way to let him know how I am getting on. Maybe I will be a little braver and flirt a little more and even ask to meet.
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female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (28 April 2011):
You mentioned that the guy is your ex-boss and you asked him to be a professional reference for finding a job. This favor he has obliged you. Now, move on to your new job and enjoy your life. Life is too short to try to flirt and get something going with a man who has his own problems. When he refused to give you his personal email address, you can rest assured someone else uses this computer too. It appears that this relationship was more or less a working one and no more!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): It doesn't seem this man is open to a personal relationship with you. He didn't even want to give you his email address. I would take that as your closure and as evidence this has no future. I wouldn't push it by flirting or you'll lose him as a professional reference.
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