A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you best manage being friends after love?My bf and I broke up almost 4 months ago. It was his decision to break up, though things had been rough between us for a while---namely, he was dealing with a lot of stuff and the relationship seemed very one-sided. I tried to be supportive and wait for things to get better and for us to be able to focus on having a relationship together, versus focusing on his needs, the things he needed to do for his family, etc. It turns out that maybe a relationship was either too much for him, or, that because we argued about our relationship he decided it would be best to end it. He says that he still cares for me and loves me because I helped him through difficult times. I love and care for him as well, and am slowly realizing that yeah, maybe I am not the best for him, and vice versa. He texts me almost every day, but we don't talk much. i see him updating his social networking and talking with friends, and he can see me doing the same. it is just kind of weird at times---maybe because I thought he didn't have the energy or time for a relationship, so, when he updating his status or spending time with friends, it just reminds me that it was really more about not wanting to be with me.How do you deal with easing into the friend phase of a relationship? My ex and I have been through a lot, and I love him as a person and I really do want him to be happy, even if it isn't with me. I know that I will have to be ok with the fact that he may already be dating, etc.How do you become friends after being in an ltr?
View related questions:
broke up, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do feel that I want him in my life as my friend, because he is such a good person, and he does care for me more than most people i have been with. Sometimes I just get a bit sad, even though I know we probably aren't the best for each other, unless we both work on some problems or issues that we have.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Basically, you don't.
Your relationship ultimately didn't work out, and it sounds as though you were much more invested than he was.......is there some part of you that secretly hopes that if you can be friends, the relationship might pick up again?
If so, you're kidding yourself. I know it's hard to let go completely when you have been together a long time, because even with the difficulties you were used to having him around.
At some level he most likely does still care about you, but this is often something a person tells another to ease the pain of a breakup. Its clearly not enough for him to want to try again.
Well, you want him to be happy, and he probably wishes the same for you. Best way to go about that is to drop any idea of trying to be friends, and both of you go your own ways. After all, he already knows you want the best for him......sorry.....
...............................
|
