A
male
age
30-35,
*yrage001
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for 4 years. Recently she has made friends with a guy who I think just wants to get into her pants.She wants to go and hang out with him. She says she won't let anything happen and I do trust her but she is very flirty. I'm afraid he will do something or both of them will. Even though she promised me nothing will happen, and I know I should trust her and I do.... How much trust is too much trust?She says that if anything happens she will tell me and not see him again.[Mod note, this has been rewritten by a mod so it makes more sense.]
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female
reader, lola16182 +, writes (31 March 2009):
Umm wow!! I didn't think anything was wrong with this situation until you posted an update.I'm sorry but that is wrong that this guy is kissing and holding hands and being all over your girlfriend. Was he doing this in front of you? Has she told him that she has a boyfriend?AND THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION - what did your girlfriend do while this guy was kissing and being all over her? If she wasn't objecting to that there is something majorly wrong. No guy should ever be doing that to your girlfriend...unless its you! And if she hasn't stopped this behaviour she is just as guilty. That is disrespectful, she cant be involved with you and messing around with some other guy.Obviously this guy likes her...if she doesn't get that she is pretty stupid. And it is your right to tell her that you are no longer comfortable with her hanging out with him. He's already made moves on her once, he will definitely do it again.If you can answer those questions and post back we will probably have some more input!
A
male
reader, cyrage001 +, writes (16 March 2009):
cyrage001 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have talked about all of us going out but he dosent want to becasue they want to kiss also we live togeather so we see each other all the time seems liek were running out of higns to tlak about.
i have met him once when it was suposed to be just friends and he was all over her kising and feeling her nad holding hands leaving me right out if that helps you guys out
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A
male
reader, Johnnyboy03  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 You'll get insulted and called controlling by many girls for this question. Honestly though, if she wants to always go hang out with this guy solo, you have cause to worry. Once in awhile isn't a big deal, but it if becomes like an every week type of deal, and you know he's a bit sleazy, then you probably have a problem.
There is little you can do in this situation. If you have made it clear he makes you uncomfortable and she still wants to go see him solo, well there isn't much you can do. Just Remember, IF you are dating exclusively you do have a right to feel secure in your relationship.
The only thing you can do is go out and meet new people on your own if it continues. This very well might pull her back to you. If not, well there are always other people out there.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 If you are being controlling and showing her you don't trust her, you will push her into the arms of another man!
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (15 March 2009):
 Your girlfriend has a right to see anyone she wants. If you act controlling towards her it will just cause arguments.
If she wanted to do things with this guy why would she be with you? She loves you and if she wanted anyone else she wouldn't be with you.
You need to learn to trust your girlfriend. If you trusted her you wouldn't think about her going off the other boys.
Spend time with your girlfriend. Shes not going to go off with anyone because shes with you.
If you are really unhappy with her hanging out with this boy then go with her. Or you could talk things over saying what you are conserned about. Communication builds up trust.
Good luck
Livia
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): Maybe you should ask her to have all 3 of you hang out if she just wants to hang out with him as friends she shouldn't have a problem with it. That way you get to know him and he knows that she's taken.
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