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How do I tell my family I don't want them in the room whenI give birth?

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2022) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 October 2022)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am the youngest of 4. I have 3 older sisters and they have 3 or children each. Anyway it is my first time being pregnant. I remember going to my sisters doctors appointments and seeing them give birth. My parents made me watch my sisters give birth to prevent me from wanting children at an early age.

I just always remember saying to me self I never wanted my family in the room only my husband. Well my family is excited about the baby and I do love them. My sisters and mom want to go to my doctors appointments but I only want my husband there. I’ve always been more reserved and private. My family has asked to go and I said no.

My husband has a son that’s 8 and his mom was in the room while his ex gave birth. I don’t want my mother in law in the room either. My husband was offended. He said my mother or sisters should not be in the room either which I don’t mind. He thinks I want them there I don’t.

I feel as if it is. a private hothat I only want to share with my husband. How should I tell my family that I don’t want them in the room while I’m giving birth ? My sisters and mom were already offended that I didn’t want them at my appointments.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2022):

Not only did I strictly have husband only during our daughters birth in April, but we didn’t tell anybody when I went into labour. No family or friends knew until after she was born. That way nobody could just turn up or expect to be there. It’s your birth and your body there is nothing dignifying about it (I personally found) and you should only have who makes you comfortable there.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2022):

Not only did I strictly have husband only during our daughters birth in April, but we didn’t tell anybody when I went into labour. No family or friends knew until after she was born. That way nobody could just turn up or expect to be there. It’s your birth and your body there is nothing dignifying about it (I personally found) and you should only have who makes you comfortable there.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 October 2022):

Honeypie agony auntTalk to your doctor, and set your BIRTHING PLAN now.

Include in the birthing plan that you ONLY want hubby in the room NO ONE else. TELL the OB/GYN as well - HAVE IT in your records. And they won't let them in.

"My sisters and mom were already offended that I didn’t want them at my appointments."

Too bad. So sad.!

This is your life, you giving birth. Your wishes.

And trust me, they WILL forget about being mad over this once the little one is here.

Last piece of advice? When you get ready to go to the hospital DO NOT call anyone (except whoever needs to be watching your stepson) - your husband or YOU can call once the baby is safely here. THEN they can come "watch" and meet the baby. When YOU are good and ready.

And make sure your HUSBAND understands that HE is the ONLY one (besides OB/DOC/MIDWIFE/NURSES) who get to be in the room and if he can't accept that HE can stay out too.

Nurses are GREAT and keeping people out lol. If they KNOw you want no one but your husband in there, THEY will make sure.

For my first birth I had 12 people in the room (training hospital) and it was traumatizing. I didn't know I COULD say no. But you CAN!

It will be OK. Good luck. And just refuse to discuss it with anyone claiming they need to be there.

No, is a compete sentence, my dear.

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