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*obbyjo
writes:Im 26 and just found out im pregnant. Its a suprise but im overjoyed. The father is a guy who I was seeing for a short while casually but im no longer with him. However I have told him and hes happy and says he will support me all the way. My next problem is telling my dad. He has very old fashioned views and has always been over-protective of me when it comes to boyfriends. He never even knew I was seeing the father because I knew he would worry. So how do I tell him this? I dont want him to be disgusted because im not in a relationship and Im going to be a single mum. I just dont know how to broach the subject with him and word it properley?? And do you think I should introduce him to the father of the baby? I dont know what to do in this situation cos we're not togerther anymore. Should I meet his parents??? Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, califnan  +, writes (29 August 2009):
 I think this should be approached by the fact that it is actually two people: You and your precious unborn baby .. since you are not married to the father at this time.. Everything should be about You and your Baby.. I think your father should be told at your earliest convenience*.. Tell him that you have known of his feelings and protection of you .. but that you are bringing a new life into the world - his grandchild. Be firm - you are pregnant, you are having your child - that is it .. If your father has a temper - then do it over the phone.. *The reason I think it should be done asap, is that your father may feel hurt if he learns too far down the road..
califnan
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (29 August 2009):
 I think the introductions to extended family can wait until the baby comes along - I am sure there will be enough social gatherings for that to happen informally. The best thing to do is just tell him - you are not a teenager and you can make your own choices. It doesn't matter if he disapproves although I understand that maybe uncomfortable for you. Having a baby is a wonderful thing and he is going to be a grandfather. It may take a while for the shock to go, but he will warm up to the idea and you should ask for his support. I had huge rows with my parents over my now-husband that took a while to resolve, but we got there in the end and I feel a better stronger person for having stood up for my own right to a happy life despite their initial disapproval of him and our marriage (which they refused to attend). I think you just have to sit this one out and it seems like it is not a bad situation - father on the scene (even if not dating).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009): I think it is important that you tell your Dad you have plans regarding this baby. Men are practical, especially Dads, and he will want to know that his own baby (thats you) is going to be ok and cared for. Its a big thing and you are going to shock him but give him time and tell him that to have a child is a gift of life and that you will work hard and take responisibility. I am sure he will want to meet the father of your baby as a next step. Perhaps offer that - just be mature and calm and speak adult to adult.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009): I am a father whose 24 year old daughter became pregnant. She admitted she was afraid to tell me but when she did my concern was for her well-being and the health of the baby. I told her I loved her unconditionally and that I thought she would make a great mother. She had been living on her own for 2 years so we did talk about how she was going to finish school and continue to support herself. I never bought up the issue of whether she was going to marry the father. Now I have a wonderful grandchild that I love very, very much. She calls me "Paw-Paw." You have to hold on to the belief that everything will be alright. So just take a deep breath and tell your father the truth. You are a part of him and for him to feel disgusted with you would be just like he is disgusted with himself.
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