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How do I tell my best friend I have feelings for him?

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2009)
A male United States age 30-35, *ailman87 writes:

I am a 21 year old male college student and I have recently become involved in what is easily the strangest romantic predicament of my life. To give you a little background, I am a masculine closeted bisexual guy who has been with a few guys but has dated only girls in the past. Five months ago I began to become very good friends with another guy while at school after being introduced by a mutual friend who said that we reminded her of each other. As we hung out more and more, I was taken aback by how eerily similar the two of us are to one another. Aside from a similar sense of humor we also have the exact same taste in music, art, and a love for the outdoors, sometimes we even finish each others sentences.

While I was happy with our friendship, about a month ago several clues seemed to suggest that my friend might be gay. The biggest clues were that my friend never even once talked about his previous sexual experiences or ever used any homophobic language, both of which are topics my straight friends can't seem to leave out from a conversation. While we continued to hang out every single day I began to look for more clues to reveal my friends sexual orientation. Finally, three weeks ago I discovered my friend is bisexual through his profile on a gay dating website that he forgot to delete from the history on his computer. When I found that page I felt like I won the lottery. After considerable thought, I decided to contact my friend via the dating website to let him know that I am bisexual too. I wrote him a nice note but I kept it platonic because I didn't know how he would react. Luckily, he wrote back and said he was relieved that he could be himself around me, but was slightly embarrassed about having a profile on the site because he never used it and thought it was creepy.

Knowing that we are both bisexual has not dramatically changed our friendship but at the same time I feel that my friend and I are becoming closer. I would like nothing more than for the two of us to be intimate (he also happens to be extremely attractive) but I'm not quite sure I'm ready or know how to make the first move. I have been looking for more clues to try and assess his feelings towards me and I am somewhat confident that he feels the same way. Some things that I have picked up on are 1- if we are in a social situation with mutual friends he will always sit next to me 2- he recently expressed concern that we wouldn't have enough "quiet time" in my apartment because another friend is moving in and 3- he compliments me on my clothing pretty much every day.

I haven't told anybody about this so I'd like to hear some outside opinions on this situation. Anybody ever had a similar experience? Will this work? Is this a love story or a bad idea?

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A male reader, jeangenet United Kingdom +, writes (17 January 2009):

go for it

whats the worst that can happen

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2009):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntGO FOR IT!

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A male reader, dandchapmanuk United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2009):

I agree, I think you should go for it. By what youve said, I think he might be in the same situation as you, not knowing whether you feel the same or not. Go for it, theres no harm in trying.

All the Best

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009):

I think you should go for it. He seems like he likes you alot and yeah, just go for it.

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