A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Hello: I have been engaged for 2 months now my fiance and I have dated 4months lived together a month okay there are things that he is doing that has started to bother me he is a very easy person and he lets people use his car I feel that they do not give him gas money or put gas in his car he just got screwed by his brother-in-law last month took the car in for one thing then this and that.It was almost 2 months before he got the car back I got so mad also he is doing something which I discovered last night thought he was right now he is not working but looking I am unable to work I have a 16 year old handicapped daughter born with trismony 21 downe's syndrome at birth and no he is not cheating anyhow he is in and out of days out now that is starting to bother me because I know he is to me fooling with the wrong people my neighbor next door is one he lets use his car or he will take somewhere.I had said don't get married for a year then I said okay we will In July of 2110 been engaged 9 months but the things I am seeing know we need more time how do I tell him about the things bothering me and I want to wait a year I am not wonting him stuck under me 24/7 but he should stay home more then he does.
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male
reader, fullvee +, writes (4 January 2010):
Be honest with him. You have a special needs child for the rest of your life to raise ~ and you don't need a second child, especially what sounds like a man-child by your description. WAIT. MAKE SURE. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (4 January 2010):
 You just have to sit down with him and talk about the things that are bothering you. If you don't he'll sense that something's wrong and most likely you will become increasingly bothered and frustrated by his behavior.
Don't be accusatory or say things to make him wrong. That won't get either of you anywhere. Instead, tell him that "this is how I feel about xxxxx" and let him know that even though you said you would be married in July you now feel you need more time. It's the simple truth. After all, if you've only known him four or five months, that's a very short period in which to make a decision to move in with him, let alone get married so quickly. You also have your daughter's welfare to think about.
If he has not raised any of these issues (and they might not be issues for him) then its up to you to bring it up.
Hope this helps.
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