A
male
age
36-40,
*r X
writes:Hey,Im 21 male and have really liked this girl (Age 20) for over a year now and we have recently started dating :DI have to be honest, im havnt been in a serious relationship before so Im not really sure what to do. This isnt serious yet but I would like some advice/tips on what to do to help this become a serious relationship.Im the type of guy who doesnt just pick up a girl at a club on a saturday night, I take my time to learn them and understand them. Im honest, i DONT do drugs, steal, lie, cheat ect. I like knowing others are happy and i help others to be happy.She is just the best, more than words can describe. She has only been in 2 relationships herself, both being serious relationships lasting a few years each. She broke up last August with her ex.I really think I have found the right person for me and it means a lot that she is interested in me and wants to start seeing each other.I just dont want to do anything stupid ect that might scare her away or make her change her mind.Please point in the right direction of how to be a better person for her (more than i have been already) and to give me some pointers on helping to make this go to the next level.Kind Regards
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female
reader, Bean317  +, writes (17 March 2008):
The fact that you care so much is amazing. She's a lucky girl to have someone like you care so much. Seriously, you need to just be yourself, relax and be you. If you want it to work and be long term then you have to be you. You can't put on an act to woo her and then after you have her hooked show the real you...thats a set up for failure. Let her know how you feel, but don't lay it on too thick in the beginning. Just tell her that you really like her and see the kind of feedback you get. Let things progress at a natural speed. It will feel right. Good luck!
A
male
reader, g247  +, writes (17 March 2008):
The fact that you want to be there for her as much as you do shows a lot. Good for you for hooking up with a woman you're this dedicated to!
Just let the relationship take its course. You can't force a more serious element on it if it's not going in that direction.
Sound her out through chats you two have and subtly see if she's thinking along the same lines as you. She may not, she's had two serious relationships previously, she may want to take things slow and not risk getting hurt. In that case, all you can really do is accept that for now and continue on in the hope that it'll turn more serious as she likes you more, learns to trust you, feels more secure with you etc.
Either way, as I said, relationships will grow more or less serious the more they take their course. It all balances out in the end.
Enjoy it for now. Don't hold back your feelings for her but at the same time don't go trying to rush her down the aisle too soon or anything. Just have fun and take each day as it comes. Keeping your intentions in mind, you'll get your answers one way or another sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, nia +, writes (17 March 2008):
Well one thing that i can say is that you should talk to her because you dont want to spend the rest of your life thinking what could of been so give it a chance you just might have a fear of rejection but it happens to all of us to me its a push to move forward.
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