A
female
age
30-35,
*NothingLasts4ever-
writes:I'm 15 and me and my boyfriend have been going out for 19 months. We don't have too many arguments but when we do, it's always over the same thing.I'm really good friends with this boy but this boy fancies me. I've thought of him as in a boyfriend before because if I'm upset I go to him and he helps me more than my actual boyfriend does but I don't love him, I love my boyfriend.But the main problem is that my boyfriend gets really annoyed when I talk to this other boy and I've told my boyfriend that nothing is going on but he still gets really annoyed with me.I don't wanna lose my boyfriend but I don't wanna lose one of my best mates. Got any tips on how to stop the arguments or what I should do about it. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Biggest tip of all? If you have problems with your boyfriend then don't run to your male friend with them! If this other guy likes you then what you are doing will be hurting him and messing with his head! It could also be that this other guy has been encouraging you to go to him simply BECAUSE he knows it causes arguments between you and your BF, maybe in the hope that sooner or later it will cause you to break up and he can be there to pick up the pieces for you and "get the girl".
You can stay friends with the other guy if you really must, but put a little distance between you and re-draw the lines of friendship so that they aren't being constantly blurred. Don't talk to him about your relationship, don't run to him every time you have an argument with your BF and make it clear to him that friends is all you can ever be. If he can't handle that and gives you problems over it, then maybe you should consider if he really is a friend, or if he has actually been playing games and encouraging the arguments to cause you and your BF to break up.
A
female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (1 July 2008):
your boyfriend is feeling insecure as he knows that you friend has feelings for you putting him into a position of not trusting you. he cant help but feel that you friend has different motives from you. though he may trust u he doesnt trust your friend. in this case i would re-assure my boyfriend that he is the only one you want to be with and you love him and not your friend. similarly also mention to him that your friend is too a very important person in your life and has been there for you through thick and thin and you cant drop him just because your boyfriend doesnt like him. sit him down and explain the situation to him and calmly tell him that he has nothing to worry about as you love him.
constantly remind him that you care about him and dont under-estimate the power of gestures even if they are little. leave post it notes on his books saying u love him. or send him emails with kissed on them. little gestures just mean that u are thinking about him more then u are thinking about your friend
...............................
|
