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anonymous
writes: I've been going out with the same girl now for about 6 months...before we were 'official' we were half going out for about the same amount of time before then. She's had 2 sexual partners before me. She's my first real girlfriend and first long term sexual partner.Recently I've been insanely jealous of her previous sexual partners. Even though she dumped both her previous partners because they were "*******'s" I still seeth inside at the thought of her 'like that' with another man. I know that she loves me, and that I am the first person she has truely loved. The same if true for me. Love is not a problem, I have no doubts about her affections. I also have no reason to be suspicious, in all the time we've been together she's been nothing but the perfect loving partner.But I cannot help but think of her having sex with her previous boyfriends, even if she didn't love them. She tells me our sex is better, than I am more important to her than they ever were, but I still hate thinking about it. We've even talked about this and she understands my jealousy entirely, but I can't stop feeling this way.I think the issue stems from her being my first sexual partner (excluding a single one-night-stand) so I have no comparable history. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): I've read a lot of your responses and I feel the same way with my girlfriend for the most part. My current girlfriend (possibly wife someday) has had sex with 3 partners before dating me. It kind of tears you up inside to think that she would do such an intimate act with several guys. I've only had sex with one other person before her, and it was in a semi-long relationship (dated ~6 months).
I'm kind of in a crappy thought-fest where my mind is running wild thinking about her with other men. I've found at least some sort of solution that has helped me deal with her past "lovers". I've found out that if you talk to her and get more details about why she did what she did (not in a pushy way) and learn about her mentality at that point, it tends to help out. I REALLY didn't want to know about her past relationships at the beginning, but as time grew longer, my mind would run wild with how many she's been with or what happened. After her clearing it up with her (only took about a year for me to ask the questions I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to) I found out the first couple of days suck horribly because it eats you up inside, but after a while, I've been able to cope with it and see where she was at. The only one that's still eating me up is the relationship she had with a guy at college. She had a fling with this guy twice. I'll get over it, but it just bothers me that she would offer her body to someone she had only known for maybe a month tops.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): man does this suck...and then at the same time it would suck if she was inexperienced and wishful of more action as you start getting deep into your relationship. which is in my mind completly understandable. But check this out: my girlfriend (i hate saying this word at this time :) has been with around 15 guys (at least that's what she says). She is hot. I mean she gets hit on a lot. Really fuckable like. She was 24 when we met. I am a bit younger and am average looking, and really picky (shallow) and have had little experience, but think that fucking a lot of women is awesome. I've got such bad doublestandards that makes me want to puke. It sucks ass. She's hot! If i were hot i would probably have banged a whole shitload of girls. I am glad she had fun. But at the same time...i don't know. Like the dude below wrote, i feel like fucking more women than she had men. Even thought it's probably the stupidest thing ever. Or breaking up with her...but i would never forgive myself for doing that. Also stupid...i don't know what to do. The worst thing is that i have been in contact with a lot of her ex boyfriends...one had a bigger dick, the other fucked faster, with one she made love for hours (something i wish i could do) and some she sucked off constantly. You can't have it worse than this. Well of course you can, but you are not me :). I don't know. I feel completely useless and insignificant. Stupid. Looser. And the worst thing is i want to get my score up there - even by cheating on her. Well i only feel like this sometimes. That's so bad...makes no sense moraly. I wish it did. I wish i had more expereince before i met her. I so wish that. To all of you: be promiscuos or you will regret it later. I am a frustrated person. Fucking slut. Whore! I am ten times a cheaper whore that she is...reality bites. Beauty is like money, some have it, other want it. I guess i am on the wanting end. Success...i guess the best way for you to feel better is to know that someone's had it worse :D. But when you have to shake hands with a guy that pounded her...dude...i want to dump her so bad. I am so imature and not a man. I am a boy. mid 20's boy. looser. i am happy she had a good time. I hope i will too. fuck...i guess if our relationship was better and our sex life too it wouldn't bother me so much. made love for hours!!! and it kept staying stiff...even after he came two three times...i know: way too much info...i asked for it. God this fucking life can suck sometimes. fucking a. I just wanna get drunk and fuck some bitch. It's not fair...it is...but you know...it sucks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): i wanted to ammend my answer: i advised you no matter what you think or do, stay loyal and dont cheat around on her. i was gernerally overly sarcastic regarding a break up because it didnt work out for me. My implication was really that if you dont cheat, you will be more likely to have a continuing relationship: and if your not sure you love her; better make damn sure or else you may find out you do love her, too late. i wish I could of had that continuing relationship, but thats what i did wrong; i cheated and i didnt think i loved her; when i did.. I hope you work out these personal issues, and i hope it works out ok. Just dont let her think you are jelous or anyhting you may need to keep it to yourself: and dont let this feeling drive you to do something that makes you feel the need to "protect" yourself, to protect your ego. again i say : fly straight, keep your karma clean, and dont mention this particular feeling to her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): this is difficult situation. i know it well, i have a similar experience. to be homest, the ex lovers before are much easier to think about and deal with than the ones after a breakup! unfortunately, if you dont get married or live together, you'll probably break up...all i can say is dont find out you love her after you break up with her! think it through; it may be too late then...if you do break up, and cant get her back, just make sure you avoid seeing her and any people she goes out with, this will be tough and you may hold this pain for a long long time: you may never get over it. whatever you do, keep your karma clean with her: that means dont cheat or fu ck around on her. keep yourself clean, trust me. whatever she does you will be ok -its very important you fly straight. sometimes women with "daddy" issues will go on an 'in your face' "screwing spree" after you break up. ouch, fukced up i know; happened to me; 22 years later and i still feel it: but i cheated and fukced around... therefore i say; dont cheat on em.
in the end - its yourself you have to live with. stay clean, so the pain can heal. if you cheat or fukc around, the hurt will last much longer especially if you find out you really loved her after you break up (like me. dont be a dumbass like me.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): Okay, first off, I feel your pain and know your exact feelings. I can tell you that no matter how extensive or how limited your partners past is, you will naturally have these feelings. My gf is (or was, rather) a virgin before she met me. I was her first for everything except kissing and fingering. She had done nothing else but that before me, never had a boyfriend, nothing. And this is at 23 years old. She gave her virginity to me and I STILL have those feelings about the few minor things she did in the past. It sickens me to think of someone even kissing her or touching her in that way. So I think this is just a natural feeling men (and women too even) get when they love someone a great deal. We feel that this person is ours and we torture ourselves by thinking of another person experiencing what we feel belongs to us. My situation is just hard proof of that. My gf completely saved herself for me and even then it still bothers me that anyone else has kissed her, or even thought about her in that way before. So no matter the severity of someone's faults before us, anything that happened in that persons past will just naturally be a source of pain when thought about. There's nothing you can do then but not think about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Okay guys, i can relate to sexual jealousy a lot. My fiancee, when we first got together, revealed she'd had a threesome, and not long before we had got together for that matter. It ate my insides up for months, i didnt know which way to turn or what to do. The idea of someone fulfilling their fantasies with my gorgeous partner pretty much sucked. There was only one course of action. When i was away from her for a bit, i went to a brothel and paid for a threesome of my own. Two hot girls pleasured me, and now i have equality, and can feel sexually equal again. This was the only way to cope with things, and ensure our relationship didnt suffer long term and didnt basically collapse. Sexual pasts can hurt ALOT, and the worst thing is your partner wont sympathise. Women are different to men, they can handle sexual pasts much better, but that because we as men understand how other men think. Some guy had a threesome with my girl, and that sucked, but ive had a threesome with two hot girls who will one day be someone elses girls. Its all about finding equality to restore your own self esteem. Morally, im a loser, but this was the only way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): I don’t think there is an easy answer. I love my current gf, maybe I’ll marry her someday. She is smart, cute and religious. One of the thighs that that attracted the most to her was what I thought she was more innocent. She was not like the average American girl, she came from an immigrant family (but born here), went to religious school, etc. But eventually I discovered that she was not as innocent as I thought and had sex with three guys before me, including a guy that she barely knew in her first date. To be honest that created a big problem in my head. I felt cheated in a way, it is hard to describe. For quite some time I kind of felt disgusted about her. I felt she was cheap. It took me a lot of work to “conquer” her in the beginning, and the mere fact that she gave away her body so easily to another man left a big scar among my feelings towards her, and made me feel like crap. Sometimes I can not control my anger and I don’t want anything to do with her. Yet I still love her and she has so many good qualities. She feels bad, but I don’t think most women can understand how important innocence can be for a man, and give away that gift and that only gift that can only be given once. This anger led to me cheating on her a couple of times. I feel that I love her and everything but it is not the same anymore, it is really a sad situation. We have been together for a while, and I tried to think of the many good memories we have together but some of that sadness is always in the back of my mind no matter what. That is probably why I am writing here today
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): My husband has slept with over a 100 women before he met me and loved a few of them. I'm not mad about it I just feel disgusted and I refer to all those he has slept with including him "whores" and "prostitutes". To me only whores and prostitues can reach this kind of # because its their job to have as many customers as possible. It's like us hard working people jumping from one job to another or work long hours for more money. I still love my whore tho
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): I really hate this feeling i have. I know exactly what everyone else feels. My girlfriend of a year and 1 month is almost 17. She has admitted to having 4 partners before me, not counting other than sex. that number is probably more than ten. And it sucks so bad, because she tells me that she has never loved anyone as much as me. But what sucks more is, what can i do new with her you know? She's been there done that, how can it be special? and shes only 17! What do i do to get this out of my mind??????
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): I've really appreciated all of your insights. One of the things that I've observed is that we are all made differently (emotionally, spiritually etc) in terms of how we react to things. I have no sexual baggage and I don't say that to sound self righteous except to say that I'm struggling with the fact that my girlfriend has had oral sex with multiple guys and it's makes me sick to even think that she would do something that intimate with someone that she hasn't even known but for a few weeks. I find that behavior extremely intimate and I find myself insanely jealous and insecure and do not know what to do about it. I'm glad to know I'm not the only only. But it's a tough line in terms of discussing it b/c you don't want to punish her for what she has done in the past. But when it affects you profoundly it's just so hard to ignore. I guess after reading all of your insights I'm not sure there is a simple answer. I guess I write this as encouragement to know that we are all in different places and one of the common threads is that I've observed is that it's the guys that it bothers not the women. I do believe that this has to be with the issue of consent and a women being the one who gives in so to speak in the sexual act. Just my thoughts...thanks for letting me vent
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): theres no way to forget about the past, thats like asking us to forget about ww2 and hitler..my girlfriend has slept with what she says is 8 men.. she thought she was in love was her response, i guess she always wore her heart on her sleeve..you think you got it bad..I recently came across journals she has kept. every word she has ever told me she has written about another man.. i tend to think her past is due to her low selfesteem issues. it kills me thinking that this perfect woman always sold herself so cheap...just gave it away to these jerks who used her for something. its gotten to the point where i just want to pack my bags and leave. she disgust me sometimes and other times im 100% in love with her. so this is a very difficult thing to go through. I feel for you. if you find a way to get over your girls past please let me know.
good luck friend
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): Thanks to everybody for posting their experiences, it's nice to know one isn't alone. I've been obsessing about my girlfriend's fling with one guy, who I happen to know is just looking to screw girls and doesn't respect them. I can't let it go. The idea that she found him appealing, both in terms of personality and sexually, enough to have this thing with him for months makes me nauseous and miserable. Like constantly. And any little thing can set it off. To make matters worse, I know that he is the one who stopped seeing her. She didn't even decide to end it with the idiot. She tells me she knew it wasn't going to go anywhere with him from the beginning, but she was still pissed at how he treated her, which seems like a contradiction.As someone said earlier, only once I really fell for her did this upset me - I also only found out about it after I fell for her. Which has made it harder. I actually think if I'd known about it from the beginning, I wouldn't give a damn.And maybe there's a lesson there for some of us. Just think about the woman you're in love with, because everything about her is what you're responding to - including the part that would do whatever she did in her past that is upsetting you now. Whether she considers it a mistake or just part of life. Respect her for who she is now. Also, people do mature, and it's possible she wouldn't have made the same decision to be with the guy or guys you are obsessing over the day, month, or year she met you. In fact, in my case I have every reason to assume she learned from the experience and is now a more self-respecting person because of it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Basically, you'll get over it in time (if you stay together long enough). But right now, you're in the phase where your emotions get the better of you. Not much you can do but stew regardless of advice you'll get, it's a possessive emotion that has the better of you. Maybe asking for details may help in the long run, may drive you mad in the short term, but at least you won't be dreaming things up about her that may never have happened.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): hiya mate i've been with my partner for about 15 months now, and have had exactly the same problem with obsessing over past flings she's had. we just got recently engaged and not until about 3 months ago I began to come to terms with her past. just realise it's done, you cant change the past and why should people waste thier time caring about something so irrelevant? people all make mistakes, so dont stress over a few one night stands, besides, it is probably making her feel down as well, and that isnt fair. have some trust, I used to make her feel bad about previous 1 night stands she'd had, it doesn't help a relationship. try and think about good times you've had with her instead, and if it doesn't become less of a problem soon, it will eventually. just remember, it doesn't matter. All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): I completely understand your question because I am going through the same ordeal. I don't like to think of my soon-to-be wife having been intimate with someone else. At first, I was afraid that one or more of the guys she had been with were larger than me, and imagining her with someone hung better than me was extremely unpleasant. After a LOT of talking, I have learned that I come out on top size-wise, but even this fact has not made accepting her sexual past any easier; but it did let me know that I didn't have THAT to fear. I read a statement on another web page that says "a husband cannot view his wife as God's blessing until he chooses to forgive her".
Also, my soon-to-be wife is not as worried about her past as I am, so I do have feelings of wanting her to suffer as I have over her past - I feel that if I forgive her I would simply be letting her off the hook and that she will never realize how horrible those relationships were for me to deal with and forgive. I wish I had an answer for you, that would bring you some comfort, but I don't. Just know that you are not alone in your feelings, and that forgiveness is much easier said and done. However, we must both learn how to forgive our women. If we don't, that virtually guarantee's failure for the relationship. I am sorry I don't have a comforting answer for you. God bless you and your mate!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): Read the Kuma Satra.... "For True Love to Flourish, the wife must have been enjoyed by multiple lovers and for her lovers to have enjoyed others. Having known high union and low then you can know your path......" Literature, "Fanny Hill" by John Cleland - her original and first lover forgives her for her life as a prostitute.
My own experience? My wife had a difficult life, has slept with over 100+ men, including sleeping with guys for money to pay off debts on a few occasions.
Does it bother me? No! When we met - we just clicked and we have been inseparable, ever since. I know she has had pleasure with very well hung guys ( I am just "average") but she says our love making is spiritual. Infact that she has had these guys, makes her experienced. She knows how to give me seriously good pleasure!
The past is the past. Our friendship is sound and our sex life is faithful to each other. The fact that she has had these guys has made her her! We get on so well. She is my best friend as well - my number one supporter - what more could I ask for. She has tasted every type of chocolate and settled on me!
Anyway life is only once - make the best of it. Enjoy each day as if it was your last. The past is just a figurement of your imagination.
Good luck!
(PS if you get in a obsessional cycle get some CBT!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): This is all a load of rubbish no matter what you do, or how you try and forget it she will allways have slept with all those guys, and it will allways eat away at you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): I googled this question because I'm really struggling with my girlfriends past. You think you've got it bad, she told me she has slept with 136 men!!!!! I'm not kidding and she's had a threesome with two men. It's tearing me apart and she's only 24!!!Thing is i find myself picking arguments about it with her and I know it's not healthy, I know this probably doesnt help your situation but thought I'd share that you're not alone
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): Well, I think a lot of us struggle with this who have a partner who was "adventurous". My boyfriend has told me he had over 50 girlfriends, and that is not counting his flings (granted we are 40) however, this REALLY shook me up and still does. Problem is, THEY really don't want to talk about it, so it's hard to get the processing we need to get over it. He says he's not proud of it (part of me wonders how one can do this that many times if you're not ok with such promiscuity.) So here we are, all trying to cope with the pasts of the one we love. I try to put it out of my mind, but like all the past posters have said, it pops up all the time!! Good luck and much sympathy
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): It is only natural for thoughts of a lover's previous sexual partners to cause pain, anguish, and all sorts of other negative emotions. Although we cannot control the emotions that are triggered by these thoughts, we are however, able to control the thoughts themselves.Think about it: Do you obsessively think about pets or loved ones who you have lost? Do you obsessively think about the countless gut wrenching tragedies and atrocities that occur all over the world EVERYDAY? Why then, should you put so much focus on thoughts of your partner's sexual past when you KNOW that it will just make you feel like hell?I am 27 years old and know that my current girlfriend has been with a lot of other men. It hurts me a great deal when I think about this fact. Although it sometimes pops into my head involuntarily, I try my hardest to not think about it. Honestly, it is my belief that this is the only effective course of action.So don't continually ask your lover about her past. Don't obsess over it when you are alone. Don't think about it at all; period. What's done is done and that will never change. Instead, try and focus your thoughts on the things that made you fall in love in the first place. Think about the present and the future that you will share together. And if you're like me, with time these thoughts that plague you will fade...
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): Ive slept with other guys, ones that I thought I loved, and now Ive found the one that I REALLY love and want to spend the rest of my life with and I wish more than anything that I could erase what Ive done. I know it hurts him, hes told me, and when hes hurt, I'm hurt. Its eating away at me, probably more than it bothers him. If I had known that some day I would have the perfect man I would have waited...I should have waited...its killing me. I have a hard time forgiving myself because it was my fault..my choice..and now he has to suffer for it. So guys, your girlfriend/wife probably feels horrible too and everytime u obsess over it it probably hurts her a lot more than you..try to just forgive and forget. the past is the past.and theres nothing that can be done to erase it now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): I can sympathize with you completely. I too have fallen in love with a women who has had a slew of liaisons over the years before we met. And not a day goes by that thoughts of her promiscuous past doesn’t cross my mind.
The “right” for women to have a sexual past just as their male counterparts is not the issue. Women enjoy sex just as much as men. And this is only natural. However, women, have complete control over the whole sexual encounter. Sex happens ONLY if THEY want it to. Men must ask for permission. Women need only say yes or no. And it is in this fact alone that men have issues with finding out that the women they love have had a great deal of sexual partners before them. For the one you have fallen in love with to have deemed a great number of men worthy of sharing that kind of intimacy with them in some way or another makes their current mate feel a little insignificant at times.
Having said this, I have taken great comfort in knowing that my girlfriend, who takes pride in the knowledge that she has always been in complete control of her sexuality, and the number of men she has shared that with, has found ME to be the one that has allowed the memory of those before to fade into nothingness. Though I am only one of many who has had sex with her over the course of her life, I’m the only one she feels to be worthy of spending the rest of her life with.
She has asked me to marry her. YES. SHE asked. My girlfriend is a realist. And knowing that she has reached a point in her life that she is willing to forsake all others and spend the rest of her life with only me has helped me grasp a new understanding on sex and love.
Her sexual past bothers me a lot. But like I previously stated; I take great comfort in knowing that , though I have qualms about the life she lead before me, I know that her past experiences have lead her to realize that , when all is said and done, there is ONE man or women out there that completes us.
The road one travels to reach this understanding, at least for some, may have a great deal of twists, turns, and crossroads, ups and downs, that help us become the person that we are today. My girlfriend has walked away from a lot of previous relationships and turned down a lot of men who wanted more than just a “one night rodeo” with her. Her willingness to “fall in love” has come from this road she has walked thus far.
You, my friend, like me, may never be able to get the thoughts of previous liaisons out of your head. It is again, the man in us that finds these thoughts troublesome at times. But know that if she is the right one for you, the thoughts that go through your mind will change from “disgust”, per say, to one of complete understanding and acceptance.
Leave the past in the past. And know nothing but the future with the one you love.
Peace out!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): The concept of virginity is one of those old-fashioned rules that the youth of today still find important. Waiting for anything in american culture is seen as unnecessary hardship. That being said my advice is to go someplace that both you and your gf find spiritual and tell her that the past is the past but you have some reservations on her past relationships - ask her where you stand in her life. Your problem is you are letting common doubt and insecurity gnaw away at your heart and soul and in time can actually make you ruin your relationship - instead talk to her ask her make her know what you are thinking before its too late!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): Dude you need to not worry about it because I've had the same problem as well and it eats away at me while I'm at work or pretty much anytime I'm alone and have the chance to think about it. I just think you need to understand that had you been around before in her past, she would have had her first with you. Before she met you, she didn't know the difference and now that she has found you she probably wishes she could erase her past. Hang in there bud
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): OK DUDE..... heres the right answer......Anyone who has a virgin partner SHOULD be pissed at themselves. They did not, and could not wait for something they should have been anticipating all of their life. Giving yourself to a partner is the greatest gift on earth and is not to be brushed off so lightly. Saying "Oh Well, Over and Done With", is like admitting that mistakes are fine and that does not give much room for improvement .. They SHOULD regret it and SHOULD try to make up for it the rest of their life. Although making up for stupid mistakes is impossible, you better try your hardest, it was obviously your fault. Nobody is pressured into sex if it is mutual relations. Every human IS ABLE to wait, but if they choose not to, it is THEIR fault and ONLY their fault. As They make their partner suffer, they should be suffering twice as much, and this is reality. They do not deserve a virgin partner; however, they deserve someone like themselves who is flawed with disease. Having such a pure partner is a gift from God, so much that it is one of his commandments. I would start with an apology.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): I know how you feel about previous sexual partners i am 52 and hav had this problem all my life and it is self destructive and damages real good relasionships in an ideal world one would both be virgins at the start but this does not happen very often and is not a stone wall guarantee that things will work out but it just removes one thing that can cause problems. In my case it only manifests itself when i become close to the women concerned untill then it did not matter how many parteners she had had or with how many at the same time I had tried self help replace negative thoughts with positive ones, running away, burying my head in the sand all to no avail and now fell jealous of men who can accept they parteners sexual past as there past not there present or future and who dont compare themselfs to past lovers performances.. just try soldier on or you will end up like me LONELY and bitter......
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007): That is rediculous to think that 'not mentioning' something will help you forget about it. I have never flat out told my girlfriend of 1.5 years that she was my first. She had one previous sexual relationship in highschool, with whom she says she 'thought she was in love with' but 'wasn't'. I am insanely jealous of this, hatefull even. To think of her having sex with someone else who she thought she was in love with eats away ate me. I know she loves me, and I really wish I could change that one thing about her past. We've had one conversation about this where she didn't divulge much of that relationship. It's not a problem of this comming up in our conversations, it's that it is IN MY HEAD so deep.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): On the opposite end, I have a husband and I was his "first" everything as well. I had previous sexual partners and I still feel really guilty and angry about it. Now that I've met him I really wish that he would have been my first and I also feel really bad that he knows he's not the only one that I've had (even though it would have saved us both a lot of heartache if he was). He says he has forgiven me that and is over it but conversly I find that I'm not. I feel very vengeful towards my exes and i I have a hard time forgiving myself as well. I am very angry and still do not know what to do about my anger even though I have tried letting it go and not having it eat away at me. I hope it goes away but I don't know if it ever actually will. The others weren't worth it at all but as they say "when you know better, you do better."
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): my partner has had a bit more sexual expierence than myself being 7 years older i love her she has had some long term relationships and boyfriends whom she slept with she is quite choosy and i accept these ex partners as part of here history she told me that she had had a mff threesome whilst drunk on spirits and smoking weed but nothing happened as she didnt want anything too she now says she went "all the way" and was lucky not to have caught a sti or got pregnant this has hurt me iam losing sleep and my stomach is churning its the lies how many more things hasn't she told me anybody got similar exp please help
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reader, Suorpio  +, writes (12 February 2006):
 Two sexual partners is nothing. Be grateful she hasn't had 5 or 10 or too many to even count. It sounds like your girlfriend is quite selective about who she sleeps with, so she must think you're pretty special.
The best way to not obsess over her ex-boyfriends is, now that you know they exist, to just stop discussing them. She probably thinks about them less than you do, so it shouldn't be hard from her end of things. If neither of you mention these guys except on some highly-necessary basis, you'll find that they'll just slip out of your thoughts a little more with each passing day until you don't even care about them any more.
This isn't the same as denying that she's had other boyfriends (although its close), but if the information makes you upset, it's your right to remain as blissfully ignorant as you like.
Try it.
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