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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been a couple for about 18 months. But I just can't get over something he told me before we got serious..he travelled for a year just before we met, and he slept with a Thai prostitute while he was travelling. He was honest with me from the start and I suppose it didnt bother me a first because I didn't really know him all that well. But it keeps playing on my mind now and it's really doing my head in. It's got to a point now where I can't stand him talking about his travels because it reminds me of it. He's a decent man, he was only 20 when he did it, I really want to stop dwelling on it. I just don't know how. Can any one help me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2006): Goodness, girl..getting over this will simply just take a change of attitude, on your part. I honestly have to wonder why people dwell on this type of thing. What he did before his relationship with you-has nothing to do with you, in the here and now. My 40 ish bf told me he lived with a 'stripper' when he was in his early 20's. She ended up screwing anything that walked, behind his back. All he says about it, is "what on earth was I thinking??" It doesn't bother me, because I know for a fact-I am his number one lady! No question. Guys do dumb things in their pasts...women do, too. How you deal knowing about this will say a lot about your own self-value and worthiness as a strong, confident woman. If you can't live with this..cut him loose or, learn to laugh about it all, tell him what a dope he was..and not take it personally-or it will drive you bananas. I think you need to move on from this-but the choice is yours...take care
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