A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex- boyfriend broke up around 8 months ago but we remained good friends. We don't talk often but when we do the conversations always end with him telling me how much he misses me and how he would love to be with me again. Normally I just ignore him or change the subject. I have asked him why says such things to me and his response is that because we are friends he wants to be honest with me. The problem is that he left me for another woman who he is still with now, I have made it clear that I'm not willing to be his "bit on the side". I don't want to lose him as a friend because I really do love him but how to I stop him messing with my head/feelings? What does he want from me?????
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 February 2009):
He may not be doing this deliberately, and in his sad little mind he's being "honest" with you.
However what he is really doing is keeping you as a back up plan.
If he does it again turn the tables. He says he's doing it because he's your friend... tell him YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW! If he was really your "friend" then he would CARE about you enough to want what is best for you - and that is to move on and not to be messed about.
In my opinion, I think you need to stop being friends with him. You still love him but he HURT you badly and is still doing it.
Back away from him till you are ready to be actual friends with him.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): In my opinion, he is keeping you on as his backup plan. Just in case things don't work out with his new girl, there you are waiting for him, in his mind. I would just straight up tell him that you are never going to get back together with him, so he needs to stop acting like you two have potential, because you don't. Maybe right now is not the best time for you two to be friends. You might want to take a little break from the friendship to clear your head and let your feelings for him (and his feelings for you) calm down. Then reapproach the possibility of friendship with no deeper intentions or heartbreak. Don't let him walk all over you. You deserve better. I hope everything works out for you! Best of luck! Take care!
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