A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently my girlfriend who I loved very very much dumped me. Safe to say gutted. I've never loved like that before. I thought we would get married. I seem to always get my heartbroken as I've never dumped a girl.My ex told me she only seen me as a friend.I'm scared to be alone and also fear not finding love at that level again.Has anybody got any advice to help me stop getting dumped.
View related questions:
heartbroken Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (24 March 2014):
Read what WiseOwl said. You are your problem. No matter what they say, no woman wants to be smothered. Make them work for your affection - like its something to be earned and valued once received. Smothering a woman is just as bad sometimes as ignoring her....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2014): I've been dumped once. He said he needed space, 'cos i was too clinggy. Yeah, he sfd that we'd get back together; he just needed time. Uh, yeah right! Next thing i know is he's hooked up with the girl who'd bullied me so i moved on. So my point: life isn't easy, you get dumped then you get dumped. You stay together then you stay together. So your past was a ft rocky, but you'll love again. There are more girls; plenty of which are not your exes. I would say, just be yourself, don't be clingy. That's one thing girls reeeeeeeeeeeealy hate! They like romance, but they don't like being trapped! Next time let a girl be with her friends, let her have a bit of time with family, you're not the only thing that exists in her life. Be treated as you would want to. It gets a bit annoying for girls when they're trapped!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2014): Afraid of being alone? That's your problem.
So you'll get too clingy and smother your girlfriends out of desperation; and a fear they might leave you. Your boyish approach to relationships and interpretation of love is too romanticized and exaggerated.
You go over-board, so it creeps women out. They dump you because you try too hard. Although you only used a few words, your post reeks of desperation.
My friend there is only one way to solve your problem. You have to learn to be comfortable with being single and adjust to life being a whole and functional individual.
Learn to be happy living alone. So when you find a mate; you don't need them, or have to depend on them. You want to share your life and time with them. You want to bring your own contribution to a relationship, to enrich their lives. Not suck the very life out of them. They shouldn't have to struggle to get away from you.
If you're too dependent and show too much weakness; women feel insecure, and often don't feel at ease around guys more emotional than they are.
Stop over-fantasizing and romanticizing. Come down to earth. Introspect. Look back at every-time you got dumped and what you did consistently in every case. Then stop doing it. Also make sure that women are on the same page.
If you're on some wild mission to get a wife, cool your jets. You're not husband-material yet. Guys secure about themselves and ready for a wife, don't write things like you have.
You have to wait until a woman loves you enough to want to be your wife. They're not yours for the asking; just because they're dating you. They want things to grow and develop in that direction. Not be rushed. If someone rushes you, you had better watch out!
Take time off from dating. Travel and explore the world as a loner for a while. Just enjoy the company of women with nothing too meaningful. Just for fun and adventure. You are too immature to be a husband. Grow up.
Appreciate freedom as a man. Stop searching for a mother.
That's what you're really looking for. Someone to take care of you. Learn to take care of yourself first. Then women will see your inner-strength and feel more at ease with you.
...............................
|
