A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im a very shy person when it comes to being around boys and im usually clueless on conversation to keep them intrested . what could i do to help overcome my shyness and become outspoken ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanxxs alot !
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (3 October 2008):
This is a hard question to answer in only one reply and without knowing more details.
First you need to figure out why you are shy.
Do you feel insecure?
Have you been through some traumatic experience in your childhood or when growing up as a teenager?
Do you fear what people will think of you?
Any bad experiences with boys?
Or maybe its as simple as you just havent learnt the social skills of how to interact with the opposite sex? Or maybe you just havent had much experience with boys. Have you grown up in a family with few/zero males?
Remember most people are shy at some point in there life. Many people are especially shy when around the opposite sex.
What you can do depends on the cause of your shyness. If you've had some traumatic experience happen to you or if you have low self esteem/inscurities then id suggest you talk to a counsellor to deal with it.
If its lack of experience with boys and not having developed the social skills to talk with a guy then maybe the following tips will help:
-take it one step at a time. if you think of having to have a whole conversation with a guy, it may seem a bit daunting. instead take it one little step at a time.
-learn to smile at people- this is a really important thing to do because it makes people feel comfortable around you and it shows your happy to be around them
-look people in the eye when they are talking to you- it shows your interested
-ask as many questions as you can about the person. typically i would start a conversation off by asking the person how they are. then id ask them what they had been doing that day or within the last week or on the weekend. you can also ask what plans have they got for the rest of the week. ask the person about there work- this is easy topic of conversation. if you try to put focuso n asking the other person questions, this puts less pressure on yourself to talk. this way you can listen and ask questions.
Practice makes perfect. Dont expect to overcome shyness quickly, it does take time, but its worth it in the end.
Practice making conversations with everyone you know. If you work in the retail industry this is a good place to do it. You can make conversation to the customers as you serve them, and it doesnt really matter if you embarras yourself because you will probably never see them again. Pratice taling to guys who you dont have a crush on! Talking to your crush will be hard to do at first. Work your way up to that. So practice on other guys first.
There are also lots of great self help books out there and websites about shyness which may help you. I suggest you take a look at them.
Finally, remember that shyness is not always a bad thing. People who are shy have alot of postive traits about them. Typically they are great listeners! And talkative people like great listeners because it means they can talk as much as they like without fighting for the talking time.
Shy people are also generally more sensitive and thoughtful. So there is alot of good that comes with shyness.
Goodluck!
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