A
male
age
41-50,
*pvictorville
writes:Me and my babies mother was together for 9 months and we were doing fraud and breaking the law...well she got pregnant 3 months before I was federally indicted...i went to jail and stayed there for 4 years...after she found out she was pregnant she had some dirty drug tests because...oh wait let me back up...she also got federally indicted but she was release as I was not...ok so she was on something like probation waiting for our trial...and she had a couple of dirty drug test for meth...well after that she cleaned up when they told her she was gonna go to jail if she got any more...so she had the baby...a healthy girl...thank god...and I took a deal keeping her from having to go to jail...so she could be with the baby and take care of her while I was away...well a few months into her probation after I had been sent to prison she violated again with drugs...so she was sent to prison and her parents kept the baby...i didn't have a choice as my mother was sick with Alzheimer...so her parents took her...they are very wealthy and I felt good about the bad situation...well they asked me to sign over temp gaurdianship so they could add her to there insurance...I was leary about it cause I was thinking the worst...I thought they were worried about me getting out before there daughter and coming and taking my daughter...at first that is what I thought and so I refused...well with advice from others I chose to sign the papers...thinking it was for the best...well when i got out they brought her to see me...they were a little weird because i think they blamed me for everything...but nonetheless they brought her...they live in Las Vegas and i live in southern cal...well now i have been out for 9 months and I pay child support every month...I have been going to see her but they don't trust me with her...like I said I was arrested for Fraud nothing else...they were supposed to let her come stay with me for a week while they went to Hawaii but at the last minute they made up a bunch of BS excuses...When I go see her they don't let me take her any where alone...they don't let me stay with her alone...it is like they think I am going to kidapp my own child...I appreciate what they have done...how do I tell them that it is time I become the father and be able to take her shopping and to the fun park or the zoo with out them right there acting like I am charles manson...It really bothers me...please help...
View related questions:
drugs Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Well try to understand that they have the child's best interest at heart and nothing more. You do have ALOT to prove to them after what has happened to both you and their daughter. I understand it was "just" fraud, but a criminal record is a criminal record. MOST people don't have a criminal record for ANYTHING. Obviously you have shown to have behaviors that are very troubling and concerning to anyone. You should feel lucky they are even communicating with you and letting you see your daughter for the time that you do. Obviously they are giving you a chance, but if you want more trust from them you have to prove yourself to them. I think they are doing the right thing by testing the waters with you. Its up to you to be patient and above all be understanding of their reservations with you. If you want to be trusted, PROVE YOURSELF.
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 I doubt that things are going to change in a hurry. People will only change their attitudes when they want to. And some people never change.
What I'm saying is you have to be realistic and accept that these guys don't like you. Plenty of people don't like me either.
You'll get used to it. Just explain to them that legally they have no right to treat you like this.
I've spent time in jail before, and people often judge me for no reason. That's life. It sucks but that's life.
I hope this helps. And remember, you don't have to prove anything to you girlfriend's parents. Just be yourself. Don't try to impress them.
And practise some of the well-known virtues. Tolerance, courage, patience, wisdom, and justice. Let things unfold at their natural pace. Don't try to rush things. You will earn the trust of these people gradually, not overnight.
...............................
|
