A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:After breaking up with my bf, who lied to me about being single, I started casually dating. After sorting through some real jerks, I thought I found Mr. Right.Guess what! He's also married. After I confronted him with the evidence ( ad on dating site listing himself as married) , he admitted it. He claims his wife lives in another country, and they haven't been together for 6 years. She has her own man. He hasn't divorced because of the complicated paperwork in his home country.Like bf #1, he said if he had told me the truth, then I never would have gone out with him.Now, I don't know what to think. These lies have left me very hurt, suspicious of all men. I seem to be the one who pays the steep price. They both probably just back on the dating scene looking for another victim. Why in the world do these men lie? Should I demand from future dates divorce papers or what? How do I not become bitter? How do I remove the invisible tattoo on my forehead that says, dupe?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoddly, these 2 married men are 10 years YOUNGER than me.
i am so upset this happened twice. i am at aloss. and deeply sad and distressed.
A
female
reader, Overit  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Well like the one I have that says...fool, you wash it away with putting yourself first. Dont become bitter, even though that's easier said than done... but remember not all men are arse-holes, just a larger percentage of them than women.:) Men - unlike women in a happy relationship are always keeping their options open (loser men that is)...They live in la, la land, have an extremely inflated view of themselves and think they are God's gift to all women and that all women want them...Ha...They are usually older and not holding it together as well as women the same age as themselves, but wait...they dont want a woman the same age as themselves..They want someone the same age as their 22 year old daughter perhaps..They can usually achieve this, if they have money...Why ele would young beautiful women want to be with someone 30 odd years older than they are??? Plus they mostly all need viagra as they age... and are usually so full of themselves, there's no room for them to love anyone other than themselves really...Do yourself a favour....spend your time and effort on you for a change...Although we think we do, we have got to get it through our thick heads that we do not need to have a man in our lives to be fulfilled and at peace with ourselves...especially ones like the jerks you have been caught up with...or in fact the loser in my life ...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2009): Don't loose hope. Stop imagining the tatoo yourself and it'll go away. Allow yourself to be happy, fall in love, enjoy the romance. But always put yourself first: your happiness, your well-being, your self-respect.Break it up with the new guy. He's not Mr. right. He lied to you about being married. That's a big lie, no matter if it "was for a good reason". If you really care about him, swear his different and things are worth it. Tell him to contact you once he has the divorce papers. If he's not care enough about you to go through the divorce process, no matter how complicated, believe me it's not worth it.
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