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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I live with my boyfriend. As of late, we've been having issues splitting chores around the apartment. It's become a pretty big issue with us. I feel like he doesn't do anything as far as cleaning up when things are dirty, but he thinks if he makes the mess he cleans it up (yet he's never cleaned the bathroom and has done laundry only once the last four times). It is true that sometimes I don't fully wash the pot I use to cook dinner, but I do at least rinse it out so that there's no food scum in it.What are some good ways to sort out chores? We'd like to be doing equal work, not saying I clean the bathroom, he cleans the bedroom, etc., if that makes sense. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 uh uh, YOU dont write up the roster, you both write up the roster.
And tell him, this is the way it is or I go live on my own and he can stay living in his own muck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the input. I like the weekly cleaning switch-offs and the rotating chores (i.e. if i sweep, he mops and vice versa).
Do you think it'd be cheesy/juvenile if I made a weekly chart to check off?
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 Everyone pick up after themselves; meaning bus your own dishes and put away your won clothing.
Whoever uses it puts it away.
Them that cooks don't do the dishes.
Those that strip the beds and do the laundry get help with putting it away and making the beds.
Who ever vacuums and dusts doesn't wash the floor afterwards, the other person does it.
Bathrooms always seem to be the on thing we give on... guys can go into a gross bathroom forever!
Perhaps for your own peace-of-mind you should just clean them yourself - guys seem to miss the corners!
The point of sharing is that one person shouldn't be sitting on their buttocks while the other is running themselves ragged all weekend. Try to get a point where both of you have equal free time. You can mention that free time together also includes lots of gratuitous sex, that might get his attention - lol!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): How about you have a rule about not leaving dishes with bits of food on them? Or leaving things to soak is ok but never for more than a day.Then with cleaning, you can either clean the bedroom and bathroom together or set up a little roster where one of you cleans the bathroom and the other does the bedroom, then the next week (or fortnight, however much you want it all cleaned) you swap. Same goes for the kitchen and lounge room or anything else you guys want cleaned.He might not want his clothes washed as often as you do, so might not think of that all the time. You could put on some extra loads of just your clothes in that case. He sounds pretty good though - my housemate has been living with us for 6 months and he hasn't cleaned anything and has only done his own dishes 3 times! Anyway, rant over. I can understand that you don't want to be nagging him all the time, which is why working out a basic roster is good.
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