A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I dont know what to do in this situation my boyfriends little brother (hes 14) thinks im a idiot no matter what i do and i want him to like me but i dont know what to do? I have been with my bf over a year and we have been spending time with his lil bro more and his brother makes remarks about me being "stupid" or "retarded" my bf sticks up for me but he still does it i have even stop talking as much around him because i dont want to say some thing stupid i have blonde hair and do have alot of "blonde momments" but thats my personality im goofy and weird and dont take things serious inless i am in a serious situation but i really want my bf's family to like me so how do i appear not the stereotypical blonde any more? thank you. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, IamJess  +, writes (15 July 2012):
 His brother is probably acting this way towards you because he's jealous of the time your now spending with his brother because they probably used to hang and do boy stuff like before he was in a relationship with you. Its just jealousy, and at the end of the day, you know your boyfriend likes you for who you are, and you should hope his family would like you like that aswell, his brother sounds like a totally dumbass, and you should probably laugh or something when he says those things, SMILE its the best revenge ever, to know that they know they aren't getting to you. I'm sure his parents would like you though, their not as immature as a 14 year old and wouldn't really listen to him if he was to say you was stupid, because thats rude. Be who you are, at the end of the day people are going to love you or hate you, and you sound a really nice person for your boyfriend and he likes you, so be how you are with him, and don't change.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 July 2012):
 Oh for Pete's sake, the guy is FOURTEEN ! I bet that either A) he has a secret crush on you and that's the way he shows it, like the child he is, and children always go pull the braids of the little girl they like BEST or B) he is jealous /envious of his big brother for having gotten a girlfriend and he is afraid you are somewhat taking big bro away from him- he is afraid he is going to be left out or become less important , and needling you is his immature way to cope.
Maybe both.
Anyway, regardless of why it happens, if you don't want to be stereotyped, then break the stereotype and act like the adult mature girl that , hopefully, you are at 18-21. Someone who is happy with herself and does not need everybody's and his sister's approval to feel good in her skin. Someone who knows you can't MAKE people like you and you should not even want to try if it involves drastically changing what you are and what you believe in. So, if the real you is awkward and goofy and airheaded, and that's the way you like it- own it .If you like what you are - that's all the approval you need.
( Said that, if this dumb blonde persona is not totally natural but it's something you have in time adopted because... it works for you, with men and in society- as I suspect it may be the case- you may want to tune it down, and, like, think twice before you open your mouth, start getting informed about serious matters etc., because the cute airhead act only carries you so far ...)
In any case, put your foot down and make very clear, to your bf and to his parents if necessary, that you are not going to take verbal abuse by anybody , least of all a 14 y.o. brat. " Stupid" and "retarded " are insults, not jokes. Once, it can happen, twice, ok just kidding... if it becames an habit is rude, unjustifiable verbal abuse.
Blonde or brunette, don't ever let anybody talk to you like that.
...............................
|
