A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok so, ive been with my spouse for about 8 years, were not married and its not your fairytale relationship, about 6 months ago, i caught her cheating on me with a coworker, we worked thru it, but the love was lost to me, ive never felt the same and feel like the main reason im still with her is for financial security, dont get me wrong, i work too, however if i decided to move and and she moved out, i would be looking at 1500 dollars of bills monthly, not including gas or food, with an income of 1600 dollars a month, i know if i leave her id struggle and fear losing my apartment, well, the big issue now is that ive met someone, someone really great who i really really like, and even if it doesnt work out with this person, ive realized now that staying in my current situation will only keep me from meeting someone who will truly make me happy, i know the obvious choice is to move on and struggle financially, but im afraid that i may end up having to choose between paying my car or my rent, and dont want to destroy financially what ive worked for, any and all advice is greatly appreciated, thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): well you just need to find a way to make ends meet. either that or stay married and do not cheat with another person yourself. then do no stoop to your wife's low level. either make a clean break or stick it out with her. if you stay you cannot have this other woman in your life. 2 wrongs do not make it right.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): I would rather starve, walk, and sleep under a tree branch than live with a cheating, lying wife. Temporarily get a second job or something. I would find a way.
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A
female
reader, hazel66  +, writes (13 June 2009):
You're right, you have to move out and get on with your new life. Like all things that seem insurmountable at first, just take some baby steps towards your ultimate goal and before you know it you'll be there. You say you can't afford to pay rent and run your car. But if you were sharing your new place with a friend, another guy, presumably the rent would be more affordable? Have you actually looked at any new places and considered the rent? You might be pleasantly surprised. Instead of sitting and worrying about it, get out there, have a look around, find someone to flat share with. Downgrade your car. The trappings of life are nothing compared to your emotional well-being - it may sound a bit new-agey but 'things' really don't make us happy, so don't be afraid to jettison a few of them. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 June 2009):
As far as renting for something less expensive, how about just finding a male roomate on something like Craigslist? That way you can just rent a room and pay half what you're pay now? I know it may seem odd, but I along with a lot of other people I know have done this. You will be surprised with the people that you meet and the places you will find. They are usually really good/cool people with usualy a pretty nice place. A lot of the time you can find a place with your own bathroom as well.
As far as the relationship goes, I think you know what you want to do and you don't need to be with someone like that. Good for you!
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