A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a dilemma. My girlfriend of 10 years has just broken up with me. I loved her with all my heart and soul. We were together sinceour high school years, she was 15 and, I was 18. We spent every chance we got with each other, like lovebirds. We had such a deep and meaningful relationship that we were at times inseparable from each other. We both moved away from our families with each other to live on our own. Things were going great until we started having occasional arguments over little things. Some arguments grew heated and others were not, however, we always found in our hearts to forgive one another. It wasn't until our 6th year that things became a bit rocky and she introduced that we take some space from each other. Although, we still spent a lot of time with each other. During that time, we both came to the conclusion that we should both move back to be with our families. Now, fast forwarding.. We still continued to see each other constantly, and recently lived with each other at my family's place.. Although, throughout that time, she suggested that we take space again.. We went through couples counseling to clear the air and put everything out on the table about where we were heading and she did say she wanted to date other people, but wanted me to as well. Although I had no desire to be with anyone else but her. Throughout our relationship, she told me she loved me and wanted to have kids with me, but until these past year, was inconsistent with her actions. She began flirting and dating others without me knowing until I found out, and when I confronted her, she bold-face lied to me saying it was just a friend, and nothing more.. I knew in my heart that something was up, but always told myself that I would forgive and forget her for anything done.We got into another heated argument and she moved out completely to live with someone else, who I believe she is starring a new relationship with. She refuses to give me any details about where she is living currently and says she needs "space". But, I really believe she has moved on to start a new relationship. I don't understand how she has been able to move on from me after all the years we both had invested into our relationship. I wanted her to be the wife of my kids, and now I just have this empty feeling inside of me. I think about her daily and how much I miss her, and even wonder if I will find someone that I will love and love me as much as her. I don't know when I will get over this depressing feeling..
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 It won't help but time is a healer.
One thing I noticed is the transition from young love into adult love. Young love is spending all the time you have with someone like lovebirds as you put it. As you get older things change. It's not BOY GIRL anymore its MAN WOMAN.
Things change. You lasted longer than most marriages. But, and I'm sorry to be blunt, but she is not interested anymore. She needs "space". In other words, she wants a break.
Get out there, see your mates, go to the gym or whatever it is you like to do. You need to get on with your own life. You will miss her. You were together and spent a lot of time together. I was with my first for 7 years and it was weird not seeing her. But you get up and get on with it. Cut all contact and move on.
Again, I know it won't help, it didn't when I heard it, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.
You will get over it. EVERYONE thinks they won't but they do.
A
male
reader, tby1 +, writes (3 January 2013):
 I know if my ex ever even thought about seeing somebody that would bother me. Just be thankful you haven't children. I do and never will I forget or forgive this part time dad rubbish when I should be there every moment for them. Chin up and be thankful. With women sometimes their next move can never be worked out.
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