A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I left my management job paying over £40,000 a year due to institutional bullying and due to one very insecure member of staff I was managing nearly a year ago. After nearly a year I have only JUST got another job at 1/3 of what I was earning previously. Its a very glamorous,job and one that I have dreamed of doing, so not all bad.However, i remain very ANGRY at the woman who started all the hell that I went through at my previous job. I was blatantly bullied and made to look incompetent. i have researched bullying and she fits the mold like a glove.All I did was work extremely hard and put in a lot of hours in and brought in new ideas and suggestions and she hated it. She was unqualified for the job and did as little as possible yet was high on the pay scale and there for over 10 years. I have heard recently that she is more or less running the department (indirectly).I still hold a lot of anger and pain I was so badly hurt by the way I was treated and the way she in particularly sabotaged my reputation. I keep wanting to hurt her back. The only good thing about it is I made a very good friend with the CEO (who was also attracted to me)and we plan to stay in touch.I am having problems forgetting about the pain and moving on.I would be interested to hear if any one else has experienced what I have been feeling. Can let go of it.
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male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 Glad to hear you are looking forward to this new beginning. Good luck with this and let us know in a little while how things are shaping up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your time and your experiences and kind words. I am a fighter and I was ready to take the company to the Industrial Tribunial. The Human Resources were absolutely useless as the Director also had it in for me. the bully had got a number of people we work with the sign a complaint about me. It was really petty and amaturish and did not have much substantial evidence, yet the HR Director stated I had a case to answer and needed to attend a hearing for Gross Misconduct. My CEO was horried but in an awkward position and did not want to undermind his Senior Management Team. He suggested I resigned and gave me a good reference and I was paid for 3 months after leaving. He knew I was not happy so helped me make what I now know an excellent decision.
What hurts me is the malicious gossip circulating about me.
I am sure when I start my new job next week I will feel better. I have had to much time to dwell on things.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (27 May 2011):
Cicero said that time is the healer of all wounds. And while that may have worked for Cicero that may not make you feel any better. forgiveness is coming to terms with a wrong and being able to functionally move from it. Some think that forgiveness involves forgetting - that never happens simply because we are not computers or machines. Forgiveness involves learning from an experience and allowing it to make you stronger for the next situation. That probably doesn't help a whole lot either. The recipe for forgiveness is time plus conscious. Time in reference to Cicero's wisdom, conscious in reference to each time the angry feelings come around you need to find something to divert you. Simply put by dwelling upon the se consuming thoughts you still allow that person who wronged you control over your life. That in mind (and as a manager myself) I would say to research a company's harassment policy and any other policy before making a hasty decision to leave. IF you leave you forfeit any restitution you may have. Remember that if someone is going after you maliciously that is gross misconduct and the majority of companies will not put up with that.
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A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (27 May 2011):
 Did you keep a copy of any records, emails or correspondence that you can back up in a claim for harrassment and personal damages by any chance?I do feel your pain! I left a job working for a premier skyscraper in Sydney which now houses the Government of NSW and when I was transferred to go to head office. When I moved there I experienced nothing but bullying, malicious gossip, etc. I left that job where I had been with the company for 3 years after 3 months. Awful. I was at an executive PA level to, and I really missed the salary I had, which was brilliant at the time and for my age.It's awful that you've been driven out of your wonderul job due to a vindictive woman who is now on easy street. Do your best with what you can round up in the way of paperwork, maybe you have some friends who you remained in contact with from your old job that can advise you of where you can head with this? Was there a Human Resources department that you went to with any complaints?A year down the track may be a bit difficult to start any legal proceedings, but see if there is anything you can do from your end. If not, I am afraid that you have had a truly terrible experience and I feel sorry for what you had to suffer.Being bullied is a terrible experience for anyone to have to live through. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): You just described exactly what I went through, I had an executive job and just had to quit after ten years of being an outstanding employee. It hurt like hell but i feel better about it as time goes by, I hope the same happens to you, the anger is just not worth it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): well I was in a job where the boss hated me and 'set me up' regularly to fail as an excuse to fire me. For 4 years I worked my butt off trying to fit into the work culture, trying to be a good team player, trying to show initiative, then when the boss punished me for showing initiative (he called it insubordination) I tried to just hide in the background and be a good soldier never questioning him and even that didn't work...finally I got fired and I had a hard time finding a job with comparable use of my skills (I have an advanced degree in a highly specialized engineering field). For the next 3 years I floundered working in jobs that were below my qualifications and for lesser pay. Then eventually I got a job that exceeded the original one that I got fired from. And I never would have gotten this new and much better job if I had never been fired by my previous a-hole boss 3 years prior, because if he hadn't fired me I would still be there working my ass off to fit in and he happy there (I don't quit easily, so even despite 4 years of bullying from the boss I didnt' quit, he had to fire me). So that got me feeling less bitter and spiteful towards him.
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