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How do I know when I cum?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 February 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2008)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So basically I'm kinda confused and think there might be something wrong with me. Guys are always asking me to tell them when I'm about to cum during sex. This so frustrating and annoying because 1. I have a hard time talking about thing like that (esp. during sex) and 2. I don't know. I don't know when I orgasm or when cum. Is there something wrong? I really enjoy sex (alot) but there's never any one certain pooint during sex where I feel that I orgasm or cum. It's really kinda embarassing not being able to give them an answer. Do most girls know when they cum? How can I tell when I do? Please help me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008):

I know how you feel. I dont know when i am cuming either. And my husband a long time ago also said he cant tell when i am. But i am enjoying it the whole time. I just cant tell when i am. And before we got married he couldnt tell either. HELP!!

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (26 February 2008):

DoubleM agony auntIt does not sound like you are of legal age or nearly mature enough to be having multiple sex partners - or even one - but I'll offer a slightly different take on this than "Namatjira." Never would I ask a new lover about "when she has an orgasm" during the first, or perhaps even the second encounter.

But some women are a little difficult to judge from a man's point of view. In other words, with many females, it is obvious. Others are more subtle. Some give little indication at all.

Since I usually enjoy giving my ladies' initial satisfaction via oral stimulation, it is sometimes difficult to be sure when she is about to enjoy an orgasm. With oral sex to a lady, it is important for the man to know, if he is experienced in providing maximum satisfaction to her. Certain techniques should be applied to help her enjoy to the fullest, such as firm pressure with the tongue and/or upper lip to her clitoris at certain times, or less pressure and activity at other times. Some moments are best for sucking her clitoral bud at just the right phase of arousal.

Therefore, if I'm uncertain when a female's orgasm is occurring, or about to occur, I may sweetly suggest that she tell me - either by adding a vocal comment such as "Now darling!" or some other indication. Then I will know what to do for her to aid an explosive release. Again, I can usually tell with most ladies, but some are more mysterious. Everyone is different.

Apparently, the vast majority of men, especially the inexperienced, would have no idea what to do when anyway, but some of us do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008):

If you don't know if you have come or not then, chances are you haven't, if you had you would know about it! Most women don't come through intercourse alone so if your guy is just pumping away and expecting you to orgasm then he's wrong. Show him where to touch you, explain how you like to be touched. He gets an orgasm everytime, its only fair you get one too!

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A male reader, Namatjira United Kingdom +, writes (25 February 2008):

I would suggest that you relax more and do not worry so much about it. Stressing out is a good way to prevent it. As for knowing if you climax or not, I am reliably informed by past girlfriends that it is not something you can miss so I would assume that you have not yet.

Possibly the best way would be for you to play with yourself and find out what it all feels like, then you will know your own body better.

As for the guys, most guys like to feel that they are God's gift to women and get a lot of personal satisfaction from thrilling their woman, however those guys who are genuinely interested in the woman they are with will usually not ask, will be more interested in her climax than their own, and will also know that when they have done right by their woman it is unmistakable.

Of course the feelings you have are why so many women fake it. Still would you rather have it for real than fake it just for your guy. Tell them to stop asking. Experiment with your body when you are alone and you will find out what an orgasm feels like for you and the build up of sensations before it arrives. Then when you know this you can educate the special guy in your life.

Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008):

Hi Hunny

There is nothing wrong with you, most women need clitoral stimulation to help achieve an orgasm and then there is the g-spot Ill send you a link and maybe education for the fellas in your life wouldnt go amiss by the sounds of it they need to learn how to light your fire babes so no worrys


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