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female
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anonymous
writes:Feeling a little blue right now and would really appreciate feedback from some of the great aunts on this site. A quick history. I had a bit of a fling with a guy a year ago. He had a girlfriend, did not tell me but I did not really ask either. He came on so strong to me, one thing kind of led to another and then he sat me down a couple of days later and told me about his girlfriend. He tried a couple of more times and I told him no. I work with him on a committee and while there is mutual respect for some of the great work we do together, it has continued to be bumpy. I cannot think of a time when I have seen him when he has not upset me a bit. I would admit that I am pretty transparent with my emotions and but it seems that he continues to be a little nasty. I saw him at a function a week ago and I was finally indifferent. He emailed me and said he wanted to talk to me last night about an email that he thought I had misinterpreted. He told me by email that he could offer me nothing but friendship so was offering nothing. I thought that was a push off and took it as such. He took me aside last night and started going on about this and got me all upset again. I think he is trying to appease his conscience but it just now seems like a waste of time. He already has a girlfriend. Why would he want to go over this all over again when he has a girlfriend and how do I handle seeing him when he is like this. He knows I am moving on and having a full life without him.
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female
reader, uraqt9697  +, writes (3 June 2008):
Tough situation...is there any way that you can stop working with him on this project/committee? It seems like at this point, because you've stopped responding to him he continues to push your buttons because he either has some serious issues with his self esteem, or he's a real jerk. Either way, you've made a wise decision by attempting to cut off all contact with him. If there is no way you can avoid working with him, I would sit him down and explain to him that work issues and personal issues are two seperate items, and he needs to stop blending the two. If that doesn't work, I would think about confiding in a supervisor. I wish you luck
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female
reader, Jen86  +, writes (3 June 2008):
he likes the power he has over you. As he is being a cock be a cow and tell his girlfriend what happen then keep rubbing salt in his wounds see how he likes it ie keep bringing up how sorry u feel for his girlfriend being with such a horrible person if she doesn't dump him. When u see him ignore him or be as cold as possible.
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