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How do I handle this very awkward situation?

Tagged as: Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 October 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2009)
A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

What do I do when I know that one of my siblings has sought treatment for severe pedophiliac urges? I am older, thus have known them for their entire life. They were a great kid, very sweet and polite. We were raised in different households (parents divorced). I don't know how they became this way, except that the parent that raised them tends to belittle children and not ever give them much trust or credit.

I see that they're still a human being, even though they have a huge and lifelong problem to deal with. What can I do for them? I was told by another sibling about this, not directly from the source, but doubt that it is fabricated in any way whatsoever. Since my distressed sibling has no idea I know...I can't bring it up directly with them...too awkward, still, I wonder how to handle the situation?

It also hurts to know that my sibling was raised in a highly abusive household, while I was not, and has perhaps been made this way by the environment in which they grew up. In a way, I feel guilty that I have escaped mental problems that are as bad as this by not being raised by the same parent.

View related questions: divorce, mental problems

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009):

Be nice to the sibling but don't say anything about the conselling till s/he chooses to talk to you about it. It's nice to know that s/he is alert enough to know it is a problem.

There are lots of ways being kind to the person -- you need to share how much contact you are in for anyone to suggest anything.

But obviously don't let him/her babysit for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009):

I perosnally would go and get professional advice, this is not something that just any body can help with. This can be very seriously as there are children at risk.

Dont leave this just because its too awkward to bring up, go and speak to your doctor and ask him advice on what you should do or who you should seek advice to help your sibling.

If your sibling knows he/she has a problem then he/she will be grateful that they are not alone and that someone good in their life is willing to help them through it.

Dont leave nothing to chance, go and get some proper advice from someone who can really make the difference to your sibling.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009):

Your situation is a highly complex one. Firstly you should not feel guilty at all nor should you attempt to take the blame.

The fact that your sibling is seeking counselling for the problem is a very posotive step. They regognise they have a very difficult problem and are on their way to deal with it. The fact that they have sought treatment for themselves means that they understand the seriousness of these urges and are mostly likely embarrassed about the issue to some extent, meaning they would most likely prefer to deal and confront this issue with a third party person (psychologist etc.)

I don't believe you should tell your sibling that you know, this could hinder the success of their treatment. Act normally and be prepared to offer support and guidance if they wish to tell you personally.

Good luck.

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