A
female
age
30-35,
*job
writes:I am 17 and this lad has asked me to go on a "date" with him, I'm not completely sure of how I feel as I tend to be too safe with these situations to stop myself being hurt as has happened before, he is a really nice guy and I have never thought of him as more than a friend before but I think we could end up together.On our "date" we are going to the cinemas and I don't know how to deal with this, do I hug and get close or stay distant until as not to get hurt? Please help, I don't want to end up missing this chance because I am too careful or is it good to be cautious? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ajob +, writes (30 March 2008):
ajob is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thnx for both of your advice i will take into account what has been said thank you again xxxajobxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): Hello there,
How exciting! A first date with a nice young man! Oh, to be young again! lol First dates are challenging but can be a great experience. You want to take this time, to talk and get to know him, before getting all cuddley and kissing. You will be nervous depending on how well you know him and I am sure he'll be as well. So try to relax, be completely yourself-just smile, have fun, joke, laugh and go slow. But one little word of advice, I know you don't want to end up missing this chance, but please promise me you will be cool, not cold..but cool as in-"I am a strong young woman who knows what she wants and I will not be pressured into doing anything I don't want"
I think the best thing to remember and this is very important because so many nice, lovely young girls forget this. Don't act as though your entire life depends on this date, because you'll just look desperate and that may turn him off. I think you would be a smart girl to be cautious, on the first few dates until you get to know him really well. Don't get intimate or super affectionate the first date. You should let him know you have self-respect and if he moves in on you, tell him 'this is just the first date-I want to get to know you better-much better' And if he's a great guy, he will respect you and in no time flat, you will be having that wonderful 2nd date. Hopefully this will lead into an amazing relationship for you. think about going slow and I hope you both, have a blast. He sounds like a wonderful young man!!
Anne
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A
male
reader, lifecycle +, writes (30 March 2008):
Its a toughie!
My advice would be to let go and just enjoy yourself, do what feels right. If its only your first date, there is no pressure on hugging or anything like that. Its all about finding out if you two can have fun together, and if you are attracted to him. If he tries to hug you, then again, do what feels right at the time.
See how you feel after the date, things will hopefully be clearer by then.
Take care and enjoy it x
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