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How do I go back to being the positive person I used to be and enjoy life again?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ueabla writes:

Hey there,

This could be really long if I wanted it to be but I will cut a long story short, I spend everyday in tears, I am messing my uni life up and haven't got a job. I have been afraid to work. Having left a really messy relationship 2 years ago I moved into a shared house where I meet my now boyfriend, he is lovely stands by me always, really looks after me. But he did lie to me at the beginning of our relationship. But so did I due to both of us getting old relationships done and dusted.

I mentioned being afraid, Im afraid of my boyfriend having anytime to himself, when he's in work im scared he's up to something, when Im with him Im afraid he won't like me anymore, I spend 3 hours trying to get ready only to end up crying and not wanting to leave the house, I have pushed all my friends away and am now struggling to communicate. I am a person that used to manage within the hospitality industry, and was a very social person.

There is also the fact that he is not the most confident person who gets down about the way he looks, having had anorexia, I feel that we might feed off each other.

Iv never felt so needy, tired,unmotivated. I left my last relationship with a thirst to experience but now feel im lossing all hope and want to do anything. I mentioned before that I am failing my repeat of my first year in uni, I have never seen anything through so feel I need too. I really want to dedicate my life to music but am 27 and well feel that maybe it is a silly dream.

Of course there are good days, but I want to be the positive person I was and enjoy life.

View related questions: anorexic, moved in

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011):

get an onyx crystal necklace, it will help clear the mind and detach you from whatever pain you are experiencing. I was in love with a guy and cried 2-5 times a day for two months... and this crystal really helped. Don't wear it for too long, just until you can regain your logical mentality back. Then I suggest a citrine crystal, it converts negative energy into positive energy.

Just a little bonus information.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011):

How long were you single before you started the next relationship? Was the previous relationship abusive (were you being knocked down, did you feel bad about yourself, did you feel like you could do nothing correct, or perhaps you end up complaining about lots of things, you were yelling a lot, you had high expectations).

Maybe you did not give yourself enough time to heal, to become your own person, to gain confidence, to understand who you want to be, to be happy with yourself.

I say these things because I have a tendency to fall into abusive relationships, either to be with people who have been abused, or to be mentally abused myself. I am still single after my last 2 year relationship (its been almost a year) and I am just now really starting to feel awesome about myself.

Lookup cluster b personality disorder. Or just personality disorders in general. Wikipedia has some interesting information.

I wish you luck and remember your life will be amazing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011):

You are drowning in a sea of negativity. You sound as if depression is an issue. You are also insecure regarding your current boyfriend. I would look into getting help if depression is getting the better of you. Look at why you are not the person you used to be. You have to analyse what has happened over the last few years. Its good to have dreams and aspirations but you have to make the best of what life deals you in the meantime.

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