A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all...I'm with my boyf over a year now and 2 weeks ago I had a miscarriage - I didn't kno I was even pregnant!!! But when I told my boyf he just went all quiet and didn't say much at all to me! It happened me at work and one of my colleagues brought me to the hospital and I couldn't ring him either as he's not allowed use his fone at work as he's a machine operator! That was 2 days before his brother's wedding and all the days that we were away at the wedding he never said a word or asked how I was - he just kept his distance from me at all times!! Even now 2 weeks after the wedding he is still distant to me and I don't know what to think of it all and I'm worried about him.....How do I go about talking to him and finding out whats wrong or why he's been so distant with me!?! I love him to bits and its making me sick with worry now
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): It sounds to me like your boyfriend has gone into his cave. You were the one who had the miscarriage, and I know this is a time when you need emotional support from him, but the fact that you did not even know you were pregnant was a real shock to his sytem.
I would try not to worry about him, just continue to be your affectionate self. When he has finished "solving this issue or problem" in his head, he will come out of his cave and ready to talk to you again. Don't take it too personally, he just has some pretty strong feelings himself that probably are weighing heavily on his mind, and he does not want to say or do the wrong thing here.
Just be patient would be my advice for now. If you don't push, he will most likely calm down and be ready to deal, he may feel like crying and is avoiding those feelings and he may be thinking if he is ready for the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood, so let him sort out his thoughts and feelings...don't get mad at him, it is true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
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