A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i’m a male, i love my female cousin very very very much,i like her with no bounds.We are of the same age.We had a sweet romantic relation and also an immensely strong friendship from 9 yrs of age.Then when i was 12 yrs old i got an accident and my life got slipped.I lost many of my movements and i got handicapped . And my cousin naturally ceased having any romantic attitude toward me. She now sees me as her “not so important” friend and incapable cousin who can’t help her in any work. I’m totally confused, i’m unable to figure how and why she left me even as a friend.I do not mind for the stoppage of the romantic love,bcoz i’m handicapped. Since then i’ve been feeling devastated, i don’t know how i’ve passed those years.Now i want her friendship back anyhow.Please help me.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 I think you need to work hard and be patient if you want to rebuild the friendship. The accident you got in, and you being handicapped, pushed her away from you, and she was probably devastated as well and unsure of what to do. Perhaps the easiest thing for her was to separate herself from you as much as possible because she had such strong feelings for you, but can't be with you. Another thing is that is was years ago, and during the teenage years people change so much, and grow apart. She might have grown into becoming a different person than she was back then when you were friends. She's got new friends, or other friends, that give her different influences, and so her dreams and desires might change as well.
Do you know what her family thinks of you? They could also be the reason why she has pulled away. Perhaps they saw that she cared about you, but didn't want her to get married with someone who is handicapped, as it would make her life harder. It is hard to tell.
To become good friends again you need to talk to her about these things, and what changed, and if she wants to be friends again. And be patient, because you have grown apart, and growing back into as friendship takes time.
A
female
reader, Trac675  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 She is just cruel for having a "conditioned" love and friendship with you. Although, being sexual with a cousin isn't "normal behavior" here in the states, aside that, she is just MEAN for doing what she did. She should be there for you more than ever before due to this accident. I am sorry you had such a traumatic accident. You do have 1 thing to be happy about, you are alive today.
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