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female
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anonymous
writes: i need your help in over coming a mental block regarding sex, it started yrs ago when i was married, i was often forced to do sex acts and also to have sex when i didn't want it, now i've got this mental block that is not really helping my relationship that i got now, my partner is very patient with me and tries to help me over come this.we do make love but there are others things that i would like to do for him but i just cant seem to.i really need to get this sorted out for my partners sake as well as mine as i dont want to lose him.i really dont know who to turn to for help so i'm hoping that u can help me. thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot for ur advice, i will certainly give anything a try. waiting for appt with counseller takes mths where i live so in meantime its looking for books and reading up bout this.I have only been in this relationship for 7 mths but it's the best mths of my life, so i'm not going to let my past ruin it, it may take a while but with help from partner i know that in time i will over come this. thank you once again.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (13 February 2006):
 What a lovely sensible girl you are, you have moved on from the creature that hurt you to find a new love and naturally due to the abuse you suffered things in the sex department are not right, great you have an understanding partner and make sure you keep comunicating your difficulties, concerns and fears with him so he can continue to support him, let his see that you are trying to overcome your problems so he can support you further.
You need to go and see your GP you need reffering to a councillor, there are ones that specialise in sexual problems.
If you cannot do this then seek advice from books on the subject or internet, you need to take things slow, understand why you feel the way you do about certain sexual acts and find mechanisms to overcome these fears.
Relaxation will help as will a loving and patient partner.
Good luck and congratualations on getting rid of the last rat!!
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