A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Well, don't really know how to start. Everyone I talked to, friends and family tell me to get over him, but no one really tells me how. Here is what happened: I am 20 and I was never in a relationship. I had my crushes and a few "boyfriends", but they were not real boyfriends but friends only. I thought I knew what love was because I remember "loving" someone for three years, during my teenage years, but now I know that I only learned what love is last year. The guy was much, much older than me and married.We worked together. Nothing happened, because I would never have anything with a married man, but if he wasn't, I would have definitely gone out on a date with him. He flirted with me and I think I tried not to flirt back, but it was hard. I am not sure if he even knew the feelings for him, perhaps I showed it with that stupid glow in my eyes and by being nicer to him than anyone else at work. Well...I knew him for less than two months and then we said our goodbyes, I never saw him since then, and it's been almost a year. I didn't even realize that I felt so strongly about him until I didn't see him anymore. He was very charming, and could always make me laugh. I don't know, I had so many dreams and goals, but now I think if I was only married to him, I wouldn't need anything else in the world. He was nice to me and joked around, and then one week he started ignoring me. That hurt me more than anything in the world. I didn't know what I did wrong, I felt so bad...From then on he started talking about his wife and how he still loved her and so on...The last week that we were togehter he became "normal" again. I felt bad, because I would never do anything to hurt him or his wife. At this point all I can do is cry and cry, it's been so long since the last time I've seen him and the pain is still the same as it was on the day we said our goodbyes. I felt bad because I didn't know what I did wrong, and all I want for him is to be happy. But how do I go on? I have a pretty busy life and I try to think about other things, but whenever I am by myself all I do is cry and cry. I wonder if he even thinks about me at all, if he ever misses me. I just don't know what to do, how do I stop thinking about him? Not a single day goes by that I don't think about him...What did I do wrong?.,..What do I do now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your help everyone, I really appreciate it. I know I have to move on, but it's hard. It helps to know that I am not the only one going through this pain. I will try to keep myself busy and go out with friends. I just hope that time helps too. People say after six months you feel better, I think after six months I felt even worse....
A
female
reader, puds123  +, writes (13 June 2010):
decide to not be selfish enough to take anotherwomans husband as you wouldnt like it done to you!
good luck and take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): However hard it is, you have to move on. For your own sake. I know, it hurts so badly, but this man is committed to another woman. He is in love with another person. Keep reminding yourself of that. It's very difficult when you have feelings for a person that's already with someone else. But the only way I suggest to approach it is that you have to make yourself understand that it wasn't meant to be between both of you. For whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be. And I know that hurts. But you have to move on. By thinking of him so much, you're stuck in the past. Look to the future instead. You can do it, I believe that. I wish you all the best :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Your family and friends don't tell you how to get over him
because there isn't a set way, if there was wouldn't people use it all the time?!
All
I can suggest is finding someone else you know and have a bit of a thing for and then forgeting about the married man.
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A
female
reader, tmisty777 +, writes (12 June 2010):
 I don't know exactly what to say about you moving on, but I do want to state that one of the reasons why he might have started to ignore you was because he started to get feelings for you also. He is a married man, and he is truelly in love with his wife, and wanted to make sure that nothing would get in the way of their relationship. It might be hard, but you are going to have to forget about him.
Hang out with friends alot, they help bring up a person's mood all the time- go shoppping, and try to go on dates with oher guys. You need to put friends, family, and hopefully another man in your life to push out the married man that's still in your mind.
Hope this helped!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): I been in a similar situation. I know how devestated you feel. And all the people saying get over it just makes it worse. I am not sure I am even over it right now. What I did learn is that I was holding on to a fantasy of what I thought was real. I had to come to terms that what i fantasised about would not happen. Another thing I do is accept the fact that I think about the person and long for their company, trying to fight it made it worse for me. Lastly i figured if I really cared for this person,I would have to want the best for them and that is to be happy with their wife. And so I try to think of the person as a dear friend or family member rather than an unattainable lover.Thoughts of them come to my mind daily but the pain behind the thoughts has diminished over time and the burning desire has subsided. It may take a while but you can overcome this one way or another...Good luck
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