A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Havent recently started sleeping with my boyfriend and need some advice. When we started going out, I openly admitted I'd had a bit of a sexually experienced past. I went through a stage of sleeping with a lot of people - some good experiences, some bad and although I now regret it, undeniably, i feel my sexual horizons have been broadened and Im more sexually liberal in trying new things, i.e other peoples fetishes. My new bf has only ever had sex with one other person which is fine with me and my past was fine with him as well.In every way we get on. He's perfect really, he's really attentive, always cuddles in to me in bed, is REALLY romantic, and we share a lot of interests. Thing is, we've had sex now and although the sex was good - I'm not faulting it - I've realized that our sexual desires are very different. He hasn't experiences a lot of the things I have- and enjoyed! - and I'd really love to share them with him too. Nothing too crazy, but maybe some play with handcuffs and roleplay. How to approach this with him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lauren24  +, writes (18 December 2008):
you have to be really careful with this because you are much more experienced and he knows that. you don't want him to feel uncomfortable, but you also want to get what you want out of the deal..
if i were you i would start slow. try some new positions first or even new lubes/condoms with tingling effects, then work your way up with different sexual acts and eventually toys (or whatever it is you're into). always keep in mind how fragile the male ego is, especially when it comes to sex.. if he doesn't already know you've tried these things, tell him you want to try them with him for the first time. when you 'try new things' together be sure to encourage him. make sure he's fully aware when he's doing something you enjoy. if you have to, act overly excited about it. eventually you'll build his ego more and more and he'll feel more comfortable doing various things.
just remember: take it slow, make him feel comfortable, and always encourage him!
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (17 December 2008):
 Just be totally upfront with him :) He'll appreciate it and I'm sure be glad to give some new things a try to make you happy. He might be feeling a little nervous, knowing you have alot more experience than him, his ego might be feeling a little dented. Plan a seduction night, he might like it if you take control :) x
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A
female
reader, Elisiance  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 Playing is fun, and you may open him up to some exciting things he's only dreamed of. Maybe while your watching TV together and a sexy scene comes on, say something like "I'd like to try that..do you think we could?" Slowly introduce him to the idea of sexy fun, rather than doing it in the heat of the moment. Send him a text while he's at work "I'm thinking I'd like you to handcuff me tonite;)" he will think about it all day, and even better if you already have the cuff's stashed in your house, purse or whatever. A lot of guys get intimidated by these types of things, not because they don't want to try but because they may think they are going to put on some eloborate show like they may have seen on a porno. Introducing the fun in little bits, spotaneously and playfully will make his transition a lot smoother. Of course just throwing handcuffs at him expecting him to know what to do can leave him feeling like he's a sexual 1st grader. Gently guide and direct him in what it is you like and what you would like to try...these types of firsts are a great thing to share together.Hope this helps!Elise
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