A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a bit of difficulty. It's a really silly issue really, but I'd appreciate some advice from someone more experienced in relationships.Basically, I'm interested in this girl in my class who's several years younger than me. The problem is that she is almost always hanging around with her 2 friends. We talk every now and then, but because I feel it would be rude to focus just on her and not speak to her friends, I am uncertain what her friends would think if I started to display too much attention towards her. Not to be offensive, but she is more attractive than the other 2 girls and if I asked her out, I'm scared people might think I'm shallow - which I'm not. I simply believe there's no point in asking s.o. out if you're not attracted to them. So how do I focus more attention on her without being too obvious or rude to the others and - most importantly - how do I overcome my fear of what others will think if I asked her out? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): This is the OP. Thanks for the advice. I'll have to pay more attention to body language so.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): First of (you are not shallow); you have every right to be attracted to you who you are (and to be honest) if you were attracted more easily to everybody would love be just that much easier to find :) So don't even worry about that part of the equation.Also you owe nothing to the other two girls (being more friendly or more focused) on the other is (what it is); attraction. I will admit it would be hard to ask out a girl (enough) any way, but to have to do it potentially in the presence of 2 others would be hard. I think my honest opinion is simply this. Show her you are interested by how you look at her and how you act at her (she will feel it); the beautiful thing is with woman (is if they are interested) often times they will give you cues to let you know they are and are willing and hopeful to receive your invitation. My experience is that more often then not when you ask somebody out you almost know the answer (before you ask) because they have given you the cues that they are interested. I now 42, but I truly play off body language and signals. If I am not "getting" I am not "giving" and that is not b/c I am selfish, but b/c I am being honest to the fact that they are not interested in that way. So the short of all of this is my opinion would be focused more on what she is showing you (not just on how you think she looks) if she is not giving you the signals don't even waste your time.
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