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How do I find out if her needs are genuine?

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Question - (8 December 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2007)
A male United Kingdom age , *orotew writes:

I am 59 years old, married for 28 years till wife died 7 years ago since then have had 2 serious relationships neither of which lasted. When on a business trip a couple of weeks ago I meet a lady aged 41, this was in the Philippines. We chatted on the plane and exchanged numbers etc., When we landed we had lunch and since have been in touch every day, some times talking for 3 hours. We have decide to meet next month and all has been arranged but she has now asked me to lend her some money, I have full contact details for her and she is open and honest but am I right to be apprehensive? I can not afford to lend her the money but we seem to get on so well. Should I walk away or how do I find out if her needs are genuine?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

If you haven't got it, you can't lend it without borrowing it yourself, probably from a bank or similar, and that would cost you.

To 'lend' money means that you'll expect have it repaid at some time. I'd suggest to her that she's the one that needs to go to the bank - and pay the interest on any loan.

If the bank refuses her application there'll be a good reason for it - like for instance she might be incapable of paying it back, in which case she wouldn't be able to pay you back either.

I don't know what amount we're talking about, but if it's a substantial amount there's every chance that having lent her the money she'll claim it was a gift, and unless you get it in writing that it's a loan, and with both signatures witnessed, and by how much and by when it's due to be repaid, you'll be on very dodgy ground if any dispute ever got to court.

Tread carefully.

Phil

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A female reader, peaches83 United Kingdom +, writes (8 December 2007):

peaches83 agony auntYou hear so many stories regarding things like this. You have answered the question for yourself though.

You do not have enough money to lend her.

I would be as worried about it as you too.

Im sure she will understand and if she doesnt and kicks of then you know that you did the right thing.

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