A
female
age
30-35,
*imeexx
writes:I am 17 years old (please don't judge on my age, I'm very mature for my age and know what I want) and me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year. At the beginning, I was madly in love with him. We had so much passion, so much love, and so much happiness. We spend SO MUCH time together, which I think is finally catching up to us.. Anyways, at four months into our relationship, we started having sex. That month, I went on birth control. Five months later (eight months into the relationship) I got off of birth control, since I lost all sex drive, had mood swings, and was very topsy turby about how I felt with my boyfriend. Three weeks later, I felt back to normal so I went on another birth control pill (mind you this pill had twice the amount of estrogen in it, bad decision). A week and a half later, I had a panic attack and immediately stopped taking the pills. It's been four months since I've been on birth control and I still feel the same way (no sex drive AT ALL, mood swings, very confused about how I feel about my boyfriend). Let me tell you that my boyfriend is absolutely perfect. He's a gentleman in all aspects and has never done a thing to hurt me. He is seriously the best and perfect. I'm scared that I've fallen out of love with him and don't know how to fix things. I don't want to break up, so please don't tell me that option. PLEASE HELP!! :(
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sex drive, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bubbabay +, writes (30 December 2010):
 i think you should just break it off with him because you are no longer atrracted to him and you cant make yourself be. he might be everything you want it just no chemistry there, so i say just move on and continue being friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): Sounds EXACTLY like me when I first started the pill, til the end of me being on them. I had all those horrific symptoms, even had suicidal thoughts! And went right off my boyfriend. I've tried a fair few contraceptives and I can honestly say, I've felt absolutely horrendous on all of them, never felt myself in the slightest. I've experienced whilst being on the pill intense crying daily, extreme panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, feelings of hate for my boyfriend and others, nervousness and many more. I guess hormonal contraceptives are just NOT for me. In the end I decided I had enough of feeling that way, came straight off them and never looked back. I stuck to condoms, the best way in my opinion!You may find out you're the same. You should definitely come off them for a little while/where condoms and gradually get back to your normal self.If you ask me, I'd say stick to condoms.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): I think that maybe your bad experiences with contraceptives has left you with a negative outlook on intimacy, and perhaps you feel standoffish because what you experienced while on the pills still remains in your memory and its often hard to feel the same once you've experienced something negative.You're scared that you've fallen out of love with him which means you're unsure, there's still something there :)Give it some time to recover and spend more time with him to regain some of that closeness. I hope he'll understand and wait until you felt ready, don't feel pressured into anything, even staying with him if you don't feel that way.and next time make him use a condom, no side effects!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): Tricky. Very tricky. There is not an actual way to 'fall back in love' with somebody. Love is something that either grows, or it doesn't. If it is lost, then I feel that it is very hard to get back; it is not an emotion that can be feigned, or should be feigned, because if it is it leads to more complicated problems. My advice is that you be very honest with yourself and determine whether you can carry on, just being that bit less in love with him, or whether you feel that the novelty will wear off. If it is the first, then good luck to you. If it is the second, then maybe you should consider other options. Someone once told me it is called a 'break up' because it is 'broken'. My heart goes out to you.
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A
female
reader, aimeexx +, writes (29 December 2010):
aimeexx is verified as being by the original poster of the question I am physically attracted to him, I guess I just feel more relaxed about the situation. Also, it's not that I have no sex drive with him, but with anyone period.
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (29 December 2010):
 Is there absolutely no physical attraction or have you just become more relaxed in the relationship?
I know that you don't want to hear it, but if you don't love him, then there isn't any point being with him, or living a lie just because he still loves you.
You still care about him and if you want to be with him for the comfort and the companionship then you could stay with him and see how things go for a while.
but leading him on if you really aren't in love with him is wrong.
Breaking up with someone is very difficult, especially if you still care deeply about them, but in the long run, it is generally better so that you can both find people to love and have the feeling returned.
Good Luck
xx
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A
female
reader, Krazybihh +, writes (29 December 2010):
I just turned 18 and I'm not that experienced in the love department but I do u I can't force love apon anyone and especially yourself... If I were u I would talk to my doctor about the birth control and decide if u should be on birth control and if so then decide which kind is should be and stick with it. Even if u and ur boyfriend arnt having sex u should still use ur birth control just in case. As far as the falling back in love... Don't force yourself to love him... If it's ment to be then it will be.
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