A
female
age
41-50,
*orgst
writes:my husband is an alcoholic and is very abusive towards me both when he is drinking and when he is not. He is a control freak who will not let me do anything or go anywhere, and if i do there is always a hugh fight that lasts for days..he is always calling me a slut and says that i am sleeping around when he is the only person ive even been with. I have two small children and i feel as if im going crazy..i don't get one minute for myself. I know i should leave but like many others i am financially dependant on him and i work at his fathers small business i don't know what to do.....i think im cracking up. the constant being called down makes me feel so bad and no matter how much i try to tell him he won't listen to me and tries to make me feel like im the bad one.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 July 2008):
 Here is a Canadian resource as well as the one I gave you earlier.
The "Broken Spirits Network" website has an amazing large directory for Canadians and internationally. As stated on their website, here is what they provide:
"We are an online community and support group that focuses on aiding both current and past victims of child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. The Broken Spirits Network provides a comprehensive International Directory of shelters, hotlines and organizations that can provide help for potential victims. In addition to the national abuse resource listing is a comprehensive discussion forum where users can create their own virtual identity within complete confidentiality. This allows people to discuss the happenings of their life without letting others know who they really are. Another point of interest is the information section of the site where you can find a reference of common symptoms of abuse and also find methods to prevent becoming a victim. With the help of the media, abuse related organizations, and the friends & families of victims, the Broken Spirits Network hopes to provide essential attention to victims in need."
Listed provincially in Canada, as one will see in the below link.
http://www.brokenspirits.com/directory/index.cfm?country=ca
They also provide an International Abuse Hotline & Organization Directory, as well for those people living in other parts of the world. Below is the link to that.
http://www.brokenspirits.com/directory/
I hope this gives you another resource for helping you deal with this awful situation that you find yourself in.
xxx
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 July 2008):
Oh sorry, your flag posts you as in Canada. Sorry, I thought you were in the UK. Accept my apologies here.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
There may be a good website/crisis center for you to visit, for more advice, unfortunately, I don't have it readily available yet.
Please contact the group that I mentioned and they should be able to steer you toward a shelter and give you some links to follow to get out of your current situation.
Best of luck, and my apologies for misreading your country flag.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 July 2008):
I'm not in Canada so I can't recommend any charities but they are out there. There is always a way out. Do some research on Google and you will be able to find something in your local area.
The one thing I would suggest is talk to his dad. Just ask him if the job would still be there for you if anything were to happen in your marriage. His dad will hopefully have a word with him as he is unlikely to want to see his grandchildren suffer or move far away to where ever your parents / family / friends are.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 July 2008):
This is beyond my scope for being able to help. I really recommend that you seek help with either or both of these organizations.
http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
Or
Womens Aid-The premier resource for domestic violence and sexual abuse against women and children in the UK. Got a massive range of support services from “safe refuges” for those most at risk to just plain old sound advice. Site is awesome but friendly and welcoming so not surprising some victims feel more reassured just visiting it.
www.womensaid.org.uk
Look, part of the way that he controls you is that you believe that you have no options. You do. Despite what you've said about your financial circumstances and the fact that you have children to think about, you know that this will not get better on its own. He's not going to change magically overnight and we can't give you a way to fix this. He needs help for his alcoholism and the abuse. He's not listening to you.
If you want your children to have some positive role models in your life, please try to contact one or both of the organizations I provided for you above.
I wish you the best of luck and I think that you deserve more out of life than what you are currently going through.
xxx
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