A
male
age
41-50,
*uetelet
writes:I've been dating my gf for the last 2.5 years. We've had our ups and downs but so far we're happy.Point of contention: she always ends up picking what we're doing on our dates, at least 4/5 times. The conversation is the usual cliché:Me: I'd really like to do A.Her: I don't want to do AMe: Well there's also B.Her: Uh-uh, nope.Me: Well what do you want to do?Her: I don't know, whatever you want.And then I have to guess off a list of whatever she's thinking until I hit jackpot and we do that. I know I'm doing something wrong here (be a man, I know), but I'm not sure what to do! Short of saying "I'm doing A, if you don't like it get a cab", what's the approach here?Telling me to stop being a doormat is not something I didn't know already... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 May 2013):
 It does not seem TOO difficult to solve in a non-conflictual way.
Tell her that from now on, you'd really like to share equitable responsibility for the organization of your free time, and take turns in picking what to do. When it's her turn, you'll be flexible and amenable to MOST everything ( in case she develops a taste for bungee-jumping:) ) and will follow her lead if just humanly bearable, and she is expected to do the same.
Now, you will know what you want to do. Next time, she has to think in advance and come up with some idea, - otherwise, alas no date, everybody just stays home doing their thing.
This is not a punishment, or a spite ; this is a PACT between two consenting adults , which will save both time and arguments. If she is not the ultimate superbrat, she should not find it an unacceptable solution.
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