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How do I approach her to see if she's ready to take our relationship to the next level?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 June 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *oty918 writes:

NEED TEENAGE GIRL ADVICE

Hello, first off I'd like to explain my story some and then get down to the question. Ok, so me and my girlfried have been dating since I was 13(16 now) and me and her have been talking about having sex for quite some time now. Me and her both are willing to take the next step forward but I need some help because I really don't know how I would aproach the situation. Should I just ask he blantly if she wants to lose her virginity with me at the moment or take a different approach. Thanks for your help and time. Koty.

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A male reader, Koty918 United States +, writes (19 June 2010):

Koty918 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well just got home from my girlfriends house about 3 hours ago. Let's just say everything went great and I appreciate the help. Made things alot easier on the mind. Thanks for the help.

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A female reader, Accountable United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2010):

Accountable agony auntLike you say, youve been waiting for 3 years so I dont think you'll ever look back and think that you rushed it :) awkwardness usually only comes if its something that was unplanned, or happened too quickly, or if one person felt forced into it. I'm sure you and your girlfriend are mature enough to make sure you fully think about it before you dive into it, and if you're doing it out of love for each other, I don't think awkwardness will be an issue. :)

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A male reader, Koty918 United States +, writes (19 June 2010):

Koty918 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the advice Accountable. My girlfriend is the same age I am,16. I plan to take it nice and slow. As you can tell, considering I've been dating her for 3 years now. :) I just really hope this isn't the wrong choice doing so. Like I hope it doesn't make us awkward or anything. Every bit of advice helps. Haha. Thanks. Koty.

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A female reader, Accountable United Kingdom +, writes (18 June 2010):

Accountable agony auntHow old is your girlfriend? And are you both of legal age in your state? If not, that might make her feel uncomfortable about it. But if you guys have had a stable relationship and are in love, then the topic is probably on her mind too - I wouldnt just blurt it out rashly in conversation, but when you guys are sharing an intimate moment you could gently mention that you feel ready to progress to the next level. Stress the point that you are willing to wait until she is ready, and just see what her response is. She may need some time to think - give it to her! It really is a big deal for lots of teenage girls, so try not to make her feel as though you are rushing her, let her know that she is controlling the pace so she feels comfortable. Good luck :) and as the other aunts have mentioned, dont skip the protection in the heat of the moment!

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A male reader, Koty918 United States +, writes (18 June 2010):

Koty918 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

To the first response, I would deffinetly use protection because it could ruin the rest of our years as a teenager. So to that, your question is answered. But the reason I'm seeking girl advice is because they potentially would know what would be most comfortable. Thanks for the couple of responses.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010):

If you really are ready for the next level, you need to talk to her about protection first. So many things can happen, and if two haven't discussed what would happen if she was pregnant etc., then you aren't ready for sex. That's just my opinion but it's up to you really.

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A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (18 June 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntHi ya Koty,

There's some darn good "uncles" on this site who are much better qualified than I to help you get where you want to go with this.Be patient, one of them will probably find you soon and offer you some good "guy" advice, man stuff. Take Care.

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