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How can we spice things up in the bedroom?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Alright, you all are probably going to think I am silly, because I am almost 30 years old. But, I have not given "head" to anyone in over 2 years. I want to do it now for my new boyfriend. The problem is that I am scared. I don't know if I will do it well. Please help me. Please give me pointers to remind me. Thank you sooooo much!!

Also, please give me some ideas to help us get "freaky" in the bedroom to spice things up........without wearing costumes or sexy lingerie (I am broke!!).

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A female reader, fuckqueen United States +, writes (8 December 2009):

I don't think that you're being silly, alot of women are self conscious about giving head because the guys usually dont give verbal signs, so you have to look for the physical signs. You can watch porn at the girls sucking dick or just try it out, practice makes perfect. Take a couple shots first and you're good to go!

As for spicing things up, if you dont have a pair of handcuffs, you can use bras to tie him up to the bed posts, and put a blindfold on him, this will make him feel pure sensation and keep you guessing for what your going to do next, this also gives you full control of the sex. I would start by giving him oral, not forgetting about playing with the balls too, then work my way up to riding him, i would go tease him, him not having control of his hands, has no way to stop you, he's stuck for the ride. Then i would finish him off reverse cowgirl.

If you guys have porn you can also watch it together and do as the porn stars do to eachother. This may cause you guys to mix up positions and try new things.

You can also play sex games, you can get cards online that are truth and dare cards, with naughty dares and steamy truths. There are also dice that you can get at suzies or spensors for around 5 dollars with kiss, massage, pleasure etc on one and body parts on the other dice. WHy not play a simple game of strip poker, or stip go fish ever, and the loser has to pleasure the other in any which way they choose naked. Suzies also has a coupon book that has coupons such as differnet postions, sensual massages, different places to have sex etc, you can tear out these coupons out of the little book and leave them places that he'll be sure to find them that day (in his pants pocket, his side of the mirror, his car seat)

Make him dinner in panties and a bra and have a candle lite dinner, there are lots of things that can spice things up in the bedroom!

These are just some things that my boyfriend and i do to spice things up

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A female reader, krazykira22 United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2009):

krazykira22 agony aunthows it going in the bedroom? x

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A female reader, krazykira22 United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2009):

krazykira22 agony auntThe first thing to do hun is if you think your going to do bad then you prob will. So have some self belief and self confidence. Also another thing i will say is giving head is about your partner, ask him wht he likes and dont like. As i have been with some people who like teeth and some who dont etc.I know this embarasing to do but whilst your in the bedroom,just go with the flow and do what you feel comfortable with.

Ok about the getting "freaky" in the bedroom bit, just try different things. like chocolate sauce, ice cubes, handcuffs (cost about £6 from ann summers)suprise your man when he comes home from work and do a sexy stip for him or maybe a lap dance.

But if there thing i have learnt is believe in yourself and you will be fine, just go with the flow.

Good luck,hope i have helped a bit x

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (10 January 2008):

Collaroy agony auntSimple suggestion:

Use your tongue around the head a lot! Also the penis can never be too wet, if you are going to stroke the shaft make sure there is plenty of moisture - either use spit or get the lubricant out (personally I find it a huge turn on when I see my girl rubbing lubricant on her hands and then applying it to my willy), the worse thing for a guy is when a girl vigourously strokes the penis when its dry - it hurts.

As for costumes, you don't have to spend a fortune to look sexy, a simply pair of frilly knickers can do the trick. Or more importantly suggest you go shopping for some lingerie, that way you can find out what he likes the most - beleive me you won't have to worry about paying for it, he will be running up to the counter with his credit card if you let him pick the lingerie!!! Good luck!

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (9 January 2008):

Why does "Dear Cupid" insist on "editing" links so they don't work?

Try this: "Can you give me some tips on spicing up our sex life???" at is what it should be!

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (9 January 2008):

A few quick points for a "refresher course":

- Many guys get great pleasure from receiving oral sex, but not all. I enjoy it as an intimate part of foreplay but find it very difficult to climax from oral. If he doesn't respond the way you fantasize he should it may not be your fault!

- Learn to "read" his reactions. This goes for ANYTHING you do together, not just oral. How he breathes, how he squirms, how he shifts his body, what his hands are doing.

- Most guys are NOT very vocal in expressing their pleasure. If you can encourage him to gasp, grunt or whimper a little it'll help both of you.

- What feels good to him is likely to change as he goes through his response sequence. Don't be afraid to adapt accordingly.

- Cover your teeth! Use your lips as a cushion. One good scrape across your incisors can kill both the sensations, and the mood, for the rest of the evening.

- Don't be afraid to apply a little pressure. Feather touches can feel sexy at the beginning, but it takes more force to get the job done. If you can, look at how he grips himself when he masturbates.

- Get your tongue involved. Explore my man-parts. Wrap it around me as you stroke.

- Use your hands, too. Caress his upper thighs. Gently stroke his balls. At the right moment, a slick finger or tongue around (or just inside) the anus is awesome!

- Spit or swallow? I don't care, as long as you stay on me until the contractions are finished and you don't carry on like it's battery acid that I just emptied into your mouth.

- When I start coming down, I'm VERY tender, especially around the head. Be gentle.

As for "how to get freaky on a budget" - look at the thread "Can you give me some tips on spicing up our sex life???" at

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