A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 and a half years and really aren't getting on. He doesn't have a job and isn't able to pay rent and no matter what I say he doesn't get one, he just says yeah I'll go tomorrow! I'm not sure what to do cause I'm finding life in general quite stressful. I have thought about breaking up with him as we argue 24/7 but just can't do it :( were so mean to each other now Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LostInMyself  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Oh gosh, I am so so sorry this is happening to you. Something similar happened to me as well! We were also going about for about the same time and we had the same prob, he did not work because of school or so he said and spent the whole day playing on the comp. He was very mean to me, he hurt my self esteem and made me feel worthless. He even started to talk to girl and firlt behind my back. Please leave,you deserve so much more than that, you are very young. Make a stand and leave, dont take his calls, or anything. He has to get his act straight. Do not lower to his level, just leave and try to focus your time in toher activities. Imagine a lifetime of those experiences everyday!! It would be dreadful! Please give yourself a chance to see the world apart from him. If he cant get his act straight for you, (something as basic as working, or making an HONEST attempt at getting a job) he does not deserve you. Please leave and make him realize what he is losing, I know its hard but it will help you clear you head and realize you deserve much more. If he changes...well..we will see.Eventually, I met someone else..and started to feel attracted to him. I realized that I had completely stopped loving my bf. I supported and encouraged him as much as I could but when he started being aggressive towards me..well, that is not my definition of happiness.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (6 January 2011):
He is a leech - and you are facilitating it.
If I were you - he has one week to find a job, or hes out the door.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 January 2011):
 You are taking on an unequal load and no wonder you are stressed. It is unfair on you. If he meant to try to get employment he would have tried to do it, and succeeded by now.If this keeps up he will bleed you dry and then move on to an easier target when he is no longer able to con any more benefits out of him. Tell him to shape up. You thought of breaking up, but then felt you could not do it.
If he just says 'yeah, I'll go tomorrow' he is just giving you the brush off. That is disrespectful.
You do have a right to more respectful behavior.
Think what this could become. You working hard to meet all the bills, keep your credit rating in good shape, while he swans around town at your expense. It is wrong and it is unfair. Perhaps consider a trial separation and no contact for six months. No make that twelve months. Because you need a chance to build up some reserves, financially and emotionally. This man will wear you out, if you let him. In the long term it is not worth it. Because he is sponging off you.
Good luck
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