A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My mother and I are both having a huge issue with my father and online porn. He has always had porn in the house but always hidden and never brought out the whole time I was growing up. Now I am in my mid 20's and he has discovered the internet. The computer is in a very common place in the house and his response to us stating how offended we are by it is - just not to look. The thing that puzzles me is that he sits in front of the computer for no less than 12 - 16 hours a day. From 6am when he just gets up to now: 2am. He will actually doze off while a porn video is being played and at no point is he ever reponding to the images the way a normal man's body would if you know what I mean. He says what he looks at is art and not porn but it's as porn as you can get. My mother is going as far as clearing out a spare room and putting him and the computer in it so we can eat and watch TV without hearing moaning. So far he isn't happy about the idea but what else are we to do? She has spent thousands of dollars to make our lives easier because we are not winning the battle. She bought me a laptop because he refused to get off the family computer because he was busy looking at his pictures and whatever we needed the computer for wasn't necessary in his eyes. She refurnished a smaller living room so we would have a place to watch TV away from him. He is in his early 60's and retired. Shortly he will be watching my newborn and i have already mentioned that at no point do I want my son anywhere near the computer while that is on it. He says he'll be too young and won't know what he's looking at. I really need him as a baby sitter but will not compromise on the porn debate and if he falls asleep to porn and rejects all other household chores to stare at naked women, what kind of trust should I give him with a newborn? Does anyone have any insite as to why he is like this or a compromise?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): i would not let my dad babysit my baby if thats all he did, what if your dad falls asleep looking after the baby?? or what if he doesnt respond to the baby??
A
female
reader, artistchick +, writes (1 March 2008):
I'm sorry but your dad sounds like a disgusting pervert! I wouldn't trust him at all, can you try to find somone else to help or move out if possible?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 If he is in his early 60's , there is no way you can change his habits. Your mom have lived with him for so long and has learned to tolerate his habits.
As long as he behaved in the proper way , you should leave him alone and not judge him.
A father may watch porn but he knows what is right from wrong unless something drives him to commit the unspeakable.
If those porn affected him , he would have done something to you while you were growing up.
Did he do anything that was improper with you ?
If he can control his thoughts, then he is still OK.
Even for some men , if they don't watch porn , they can still think dirty or thoughts like wanting to rape any beautiful women they see, frequently enters their minds.
It is not that they want to think about those thoughts but it is like the devil is tempting them .
You are going to need his help and you should not alienate him.He is your father and you should know what he is capable off.
If he does not do anything improper to you , he will neither do anything to his grandchild. A father has a special relationship with his daughter.
In my country , there is a particular race who rape their own daughters . They are supposed to be religious but it is happening due to the porn DVD's easily available.
He sleeps while the porn is on because of his age, he feels tired after too much watching. If he is not watching porn , he will watch T.V or probably porn DVD's
Maybe, you should not let him babysit for too long hours due to his age factor.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 Your father needs to realise he has a problem. Whilst a lot of men view porn there is a time and a place. I find it quite bizarre that he is watching these videos whilst you are eating dinner and acting as a family. I also find it strange that he does not seem to have a problem viewing this in front of his own daughter, very odd.
I certainly would not allow my children any where near someone who carries on like this as his attitude is far from normal. Unless he views this in private and acts in a respectful manner you are well within your rights to stop him looking after your child. I also think your mother needs to be less tolerant and stand up to him, tell him to change his ways.
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