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How can I stop this bullying before it gets out of hand?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *arymomnwife writes:

my cousins oldest child is showing major signs of being a bully. she has locked my oldest daughter in a car in the heat of the day, she shoves her off a trampoline and pushed her into an unsocialized pittbull. she is 4 yrs old and my kid is 3. she only does these things when she knows that no adults are looking. i let my cousin know what is going on but all she does is threaten her kid with a flyswatter. after writing this i can see she is sorta a bully 2. my daughter cant wait to go play but she cries more than has fun. should i just monitor them and wait till something bad is about 2 happen or should i take charge despite the risk of ruining my friendship with my cousin. i need some advice?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010):

Your child is the most important. If you are not careful your child will learn these bad behaviors and repeat them elsewhere. Get and keep your child away!!! After a couple of years try again.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010):

I think that child continues to do what she does because there are no real consequences. I don't suggest people beat the hell out of their kids, but a firm - yet actual - smack puts them in line every once in a while. Even at a young age, they'll soon realize that doing ___ will lead to something bad.

Of course it would be difficult for you to actually administer the discipline since she is not your daughter, but I'd tell your relative to be more firm on her - if she doesn't, forget seeing them until she does. Seems cruel to cut family out of your life, but she puts your daughter in danger every time they "play".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010):

I would keep a close eye on the kids when they are together. Are you close enough to your cousin to where you are comfortable correcting each other's kids? If so, the child might learn discipline without bullying

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A female reader, soconfusedhelp United States +, writes (22 October 2010):

soconfusedhelp agony aunti think that you should say something one more time to your cousin and if she doesnt do anything about it, you should stop letting them play together. i know you dont want your daughter to get hurt so a jurastic decision like that may be necessary.

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